Preschool serves as a crucial transitional phase for my children. On one side lies the time they spend with me, while the other represents the classroom setting where a significant portion of their day unfolds. Navigating this transition can be challenging.
When we decided to enroll our son in a preschool program, our primary goal was to enhance his social skills by interacting with peers. Another objective was to help him adapt to a classroom atmosphere, learning the expected behaviors within it. We hoped that by mastering these behaviors, he would replicate them naturally.
Some days, he succeeds; other days, it’s a struggle. This journey has led me to reevaluate my own expectations, and I’ve come to realize that I no longer stress about whether my son can “sit still” in class.
I can almost hear the gasps of disbelief. I understand that I may be in the minority on this issue, and I used to feel the same way. Each pickup from school felt like a mini parent-teacher conference, filled with embarrassment and frustration. Most kids in his class seemed to manage circle time without issue. So why was my son different?
Then I remembered: he’s in preschool. The key word here is “pre.” It dawned on me that his behavior is typical for his age, even if he faces more challenges than some classmates.
For children aged 4 to 5, staying still and focusing on instructions is no easy feat. I try to think of their need to fidget as akin to an itch—something that needs addressing. If I can’t scratch that itch, it occupies my mind. So I collaborate with his teacher to find ways for him to manage his restlessness.
Exploring options for my son to fidget has revealed how widespread this issue is. There’s an entire industry focused on providing children with tools to fidget in the classroom. Research indicates that fidgeting can actually enhance a child’s attention span. From modified chairs that offer sensory feedback to yoga balls replacing traditional seats, creative solutions abound. Some classrooms even utilize standing desks, which have gained popularity among both children and adults.
When children aren’t fixated on the discomfort of sitting still, they can better engage with what they’re learning. Much like my son’s classroom, some kids are perfectly capable of remaining seated. Others, however, are naturally more active. Just as every child is unique, their learning styles can vary significantly.
We must acknowledge the needs of these children. I’m not suggesting that kids should be allowed to roller skate or play kazoos during lessons. We maintain expectations—while wiggling is acceptable, invading personal space is not, and my son understands this distinction. When he receives instructions, I expect him to follow them. We frequently discuss the importance of being considerate of his classmates who are trying to learn. Disrespect is simply not tolerated.
However, my child isn’t disrespectful; he’s just energetic. There’s a distinct difference.
When I pick him up from preschool now, I still engage with his teacher to understand what’s working for him on any given day. I empathize with her on tough days, and she reciprocates that understanding. This collaborative approach has alleviated my frustrations. I no longer feel embarrassed or compelled to reprimand him for being a typical 4-year-old.
Removing unrealistic expectations has allowed for appropriate accommodations, ensuring he’s not penalized for his age-appropriate behavior. As a result, my son is happier, enjoys school more, and experiences smoother transitions. Naturally, this makes me a happier mom.
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Summary
Preschool is a significant adjustment for children, and expecting them to sit still can be unrealistic. It’s important for parents to understand that fidgeting is a normal behavior for young kids, and accommodating their needs can enhance their learning experience. Open communication with teachers and recognizing each child’s unique learning style can lead to happier, more successful preschool experiences.
