Ah, the holiday season. It brings joy, warmth, and, for many of us, the tradition of visiting Santa. This marks our fourth Christmas with little ones, and while in past years we’ve eagerly placed our kids on Santa’s lap, this year is different.
In the wake of the #metoo movement, I’ve become increasingly aware of the importance of consent. I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t faced some form of sexual harassment or assault throughout her life. The stories flooding my social media were not just alarming; they resonated deeply within me, especially when I think about my two daughters, aged three and two.
In their short lives, they remain blissfully unaware of the harsh realities of the world. A fellow parenting blogger recently highlighted the significance of teaching consent to young children, which made me reflect on our holiday traditions. I felt a wave of guilt as I remembered the past years when I would place my daughter on Santa’s lap, laughing as she squirmed to get away. I thought it was charming in a “she’s safe with me” kind of way, but that’s not how she felt.
I essentially told my child, “You must stay on this unfamiliar man’s lap, even if you feel uncomfortable, because that’s how you get your gifts.” Just take a moment to absorb that.
That’s not the message I want to convey to my child. I want her to understand that her body belongs to her, and she has the right to say no to any situation that makes her feel uneasy. She should never feel obligated to endure discomfort for the sake of receiving something she desires.
You might think I’m being overly dramatic, but I believe this is a significant issue. Yes, I am the one who placed my kids on Santa’s lap and insisted they stay there while I snapped photos. I should have considered their feelings and asked if they preferred to sit beside him or stand nearby instead. While I knew I was right there to protect them, my reassurance doesn’t matter if they feel scared or pressured.
Seeing my child’s distress should have been a clear sign that something was wrong. I want her to feel empowered to voice her discomfort and be taken seriously.
Therefore, we will not be continuing this holiday tradition this year. We might visit to capture a photo and chat with Santa, but we may also choose to forgo it entirely due to the numerous voices—photographers, bystanders, even Santa himself—who may pressure my daughter to disregard her feelings and sit on his lap to be a “good girl” for presents.
Instead, I believe we’ll write a letter to Santa instead. It’s a more meaningful way to engage with the spirit of the season while prioritizing our children’s comfort.
For those who think they know women who have never experienced harassment or assault, I recommend reviewing the definitions of sexual harassment and sexual assault.
If you’re interested in exploring more about family planning, consider checking out our article on at-home insemination kits, an essential resource for those on this journey, and don’t forget to look at this excellent resource on artificial insemination.
Summary
This article discusses the author’s decision to skip the tradition of placing children on Santa’s lap this year, emphasizing the importance of consent and children’s comfort. The author reflects on past experiences and aims to teach her daughters that they have the right to say no to situations that make them uncomfortable.