When I first envisioned parenthood, I had dreams of imparting wisdom about confidence, kindness, and a passion for literature. While I’m still navigating that path, I’ve inadvertently introduced my children to some unexpected lessons along the way.
The Art of Swearing
Just yesterday, as we were driving to a family gathering, my eldest child, Leo, suddenly exclaimed a perfectly timed swear word after realizing he forgot his backpack at home. My partner, Sam, and I exchanged glances, unsure whether to be displeased or slightly amused by his choice of words.
Sam: “What did you just say?”
Leo: “What?”
Sam: “You heard me!”
Leo: “What?”
In our household, we don’t believe in a swear jar. Frankly, I need my budget for those Costco runs and morning coffees. Instead of calling them “bad words,” we refer to them as “adult words” because, let’s face it, swearing is one of the perks of growing up—alongside enjoying wine and staying up late. I do my best to keep my language in check, but sometimes life has other plans, like hitting your head on a cupboard or encountering rude drivers.
Having grown up in a conservative home where swearing was a strict no-no, I developed quite a bit of anxiety around cursing. I used to struggle to insert a curse word into conversation, feeling utterly awkward. I vowed my kids wouldn’t face the same fate. When I catch them in the act of swearing, I raise an eyebrow and ask, “Where did you hear that?” To which they’ll roll their eyes and respond, “Oh, come on, Mom.”
The Farting Freedom
When I first started dating Sam, he was baffled that I never passed gas in front of him. I thought he simply wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy. When I finally let one slip, he was taken aback—did he think I would smell like fresh flowers?
In my family, “toots” were reserved for the bathroom. However, as someone who has battled with stomachaches, I realized that was a lifestyle I couldn’t maintain. Now, I embrace the freedom of being part of a family that laughs off gas. Just the other day, while shopping, I attempted to release a silent one in the kids’ clothing aisle.
It wasn’t silent at all. The sound echoed through the store, and I felt my face flush with embarrassment. In a moment of desperation, I turned to my youngest, Ava, who was blissfully exploring the dresses, and exclaimed, “Honey, do you need to go potty?” Not my proudest moment, but let’s be real: motherhood has its perks, including laughter over such moments. My kids have no shame when it comes to bodily functions, which can be entertaining—and a bit challenging—especially during road trips or in church.
Dancing Like Nobody’s Watching
I may not be the most graceful dancer, but I make up for it with enthusiasm. When a favorite song plays, I can’t help but move, and my kids share that same joy. We often break into impromptu dance parties in the car, the grocery store, or even while walking down the street. It’s like our own uncoordinated flash mob.
My oldest son, however, tends to confuse dancing with wrestling, often leading to playful chaos that leaves his younger brother shouting in protest. He’s definitely going to enjoy those mosh pits someday.
The Power of Apology
I often find myself reacting before my brain catches up, which leads to more apologies than I’d like to admit. Initially, this made me feel inadequate until I overheard my two middle children, Max and Lila, in a conversation one morning.
Max: “Lila, move! You’re in the way!”
*Pause*
Max: “Sorry, Lila, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Lila: “I forgive you.”
In that moment, I felt a swell of pride. None of us are perfect, and knowing how to apologize is an invaluable skill to have in life.
So, while we’re still delving into wonderful books and discussing kindness and confidence, we also embrace the joys of dancing, farting, and the occasional slip of adult language. I cherish my little family with all its quirks and unique lessons.
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In summary, parenting is a journey filled with unexpected teachings. From swearing and farting to dancing and apologizing, these moments shape our family dynamic in the most delightful ways.