My partner and I fully acknowledge that our family dynamic is anything but conventional. We embrace minimal living, homeschool our child with behavioral challenges, and I — the mother — work outside the home. In our cozy space (a camper), my partner proudly takes on the role of a stay-at-home dad, and he excels at it.
While I thrive on interaction and communication with others, my spouse is nurturing, compassionate, and remarkably skilled in all things outdoors. Sure, our kids may indulge in more pre-packaged snacks and I might return home to a bit of chaos, but I take comfort in knowing they spent the day exploring nature, learning about wildlife, and creating memories with their dad.
The inspiration for this letter stems from a deep love and respect for those who dedicate their lives to raising the next generation, as well as a desire to express what it’s like for those of us who leave home each day with our breakfast in one hand and a briefcase (or toolset) in the other, all while relying on you to provide the best care for our children.
Dear Stay-at-Home Parent:
Your role is incredibly demanding. It’s an endless cycle of meeting the needs of little ones, ensuring their survival by feeding them and keeping them safe, while often also acting as their teacher. All of this occurs under the pressure to live up to the seemingly flawless standards set by Pinterest-perfect parents who never miss a school function.
You’re in the trenches, and we commend you for that. Those of us who leave at dawn to tackle work commitments deeply appreciate your resilience. Wear your “Stay-at-Home Parent” title with pride.
However, if we’re being completely honest — and a bit vulnerable — there are some things we wish you could understand. As a working mom, I want to share these thoughts, which echo the sentiments of my colleagues, including many fathers.
So, stay-at-home moms and dads, take a moment to grab that coffee you poured earlier and get comfortable. Here are some truths that I hope resonate with you.
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We Truly Miss You.
We genuinely miss you while we’re at work. While you’re busy wiping noses and hosting tea parties for the umpteenth time, we’re struggling to stay awake in meetings while dreaming of returning to your smile and those giggly little arms that greet us at the door. We can’t wait to share in the excitement of what our kids learned from you that day over dinner, whether it’s a homemade meal or takeout because, let’s face it, cooking is exhausting. -
We Wouldn’t Choose This If We Didn’t Have To.
For many of us, each month feels like a countdown to the next long weekend or family getaway, dreaming of quality time over office work. Even those who enjoy their jobs would prefer to snuggle up and watch movies with you instead. Your texts and photos throughout the day serve as our motivation, reminding us why we work hard. -
You Look Amazing.
Honestly, whoever claims that stay-at-home parents should always look polished clearly hasn’t spent a day in your shoes! You look fantastic just the way you are. Those comfy clothes are perfect for chasing after a toddler. A Cheerio in your hair? That just means our kids are fed and happy. -
You’re Incredible, and We’re Your Biggest Supporters.
There were times when I felt like my worth was diminished during maternity leave, overwhelmed by the demands of parenting. Yet, you manage to juggle everything — from sleepless nights to school runs — and somehow keep it all together. We share your proud moments with our friends and brag about your skills, especially your knack for saving money at the grocery store. -
We Try to Speak Your Language.
We understand your day is filled with challenges. If you haven’t had an adult conversation all day, we want to hear about your experiences. Vent to us about that tantrum in the grocery store or celebrate the adorable things our kids do. We’re here to support you and want to be part of your journey. -
We Need You to Speak Our Language Too.
When you share your day, remember to give us a moment to adjust from work mode to family life. Transitioning can be tricky, and sometimes we need a breather before diving into the chaos of home life. A little patience goes a long way.
Life can be messy, and we all have our moments of needing a do-over. What matters is that we rely on each other for support and understanding. So, stay-at-home parents, keep doing what you do best. You’re some of the strongest people around, and we’re here cheering for you. If you can, remember that we also need your support — we truly miss you.
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Summary:
This heartfelt letter expresses appreciation and understanding between working parents and stay-at-home parents. It highlights the challenges faced by both groups and emphasizes the importance of communication and support in a family dynamic. The message underscores the value of teamwork and encouragement, creating a sense of unity in the parenting journey.