Every morning, I find myself pausing to recall the day of the week so that I can organize my family’s schedule around the various extracurricular activities one of my kids has signed up for. Right now, it’s basketball and Scouts. He even pleaded to join soccer and flag football, but we had to set limits—there are only so many evenings and Saturdays available. Every time a flyer from school arrives, he eagerly bursts through the door, waving it excitedly: “Mom, can I try this too?!”
On the flip side, my oldest child would rather skip extracurriculars entirely—money or no money. When he was younger, he briefly participated in taekwondo and basketball, but after just a couple of practices, he would start dragging his feet as soon as it was time to go.
Initially, I felt frustrated by his lack of enthusiasm (truthfully, it mostly stemmed from the money we spent enrolling him). As a typical mom, I let my worries spiral out of control. Was he socially awkward? Would he forever shy away from new experiences? Would his reluctance hinder his ability for long-term commitments? Would he end up living in my basement at 30, single, unemployed, and munching on chips in a grease-stained shirt?
Yes, I can be a bit dramatic.
However, upon taking a step back to evaluate the situation—and my child’s personality—I came to a realization: He’s doing just fine. He’s neither maladjusted nor antisocial; he has friends and enjoys activities—they just don’t involve team sports. Unlike his younger brother, he simply isn’t drawn to group activities.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I recognized that I was similar. I joined Girl Scouts for one meeting and immediately felt a strong sense of “nope” when I realized it required a regular commitment. I didn’t find it enjoyable and opted not to join any clubs until high school, where I only participated in the Spanish Club for the chance at a daytime field trip. Despite not being a joiner, I turned out all right (just ask my mom; I don’t live with her).
Some kids thrive on participation and camaraderie, relishing the social aspects of teams and clubs. We often idealize this kind of childhood—one filled with enriching activities and experiences, which can indeed be valuable if they bring joy.
But what if they don’t? Should we compel them to join activities that make them unhappy, simply because it aligns with our expectations of what they “should” do? Extracurriculars can do more harm than good if they induce anxiety or distress.
I once came across a quote that resonated deeply: “Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.” Our children deserve peace just as much as we do. If an activity brings them happiness, that’s what we want. However, if it detracts from their well-being, then the cost far exceeds any enrollment fees.
I trust my child’s judgment. He prefers individual pursuits or one-on-one instruction, and I’ve come to accept that. If he ever expresses a desire to try something new, I’ll gladly support him, but I won’t push the issue.
In today’s digital age, there are plenty of opportunities to explore new interests without needing to join a group. Recently, he enrolled in an online Minecraft club through his school, where he feels comfortable and engaged, free from the pressure of a large crowd.
I want my son to be well-rounded, but even more, I want him to be happy. If that means I won’t be cheering for him from the sidelines or showcasing his talents at a public event, I’m perfectly fine with that. I fully support any extracurricular activity that brings him joy, whether it involves a uniform or just a Minecraft T-shirt.
For more thoughts on parenting, you can check out this post on intracervicalinsemination.com. And if you’re looking into at-home insemination options, Make a Mom is a great resource. For additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit NHS.
Summary:
Every child is unique, and while some thrive in team sports or group activities, others may prefer solo pursuits. It’s essential to recognize and respect these preferences, allowing children to explore their interests without pressure. Ultimately, our goal as parents should be to foster happiness and well-being in our kids, regardless of the activities they choose to engage in.