When my partner, Alex, and I reflect on our experiences as parents to three children, it’s clear that our parents have vastly different styles when it comes to grandparenting. Alex’s parents lean towards tradition, often saying, “Why don’t you drop the kids off at our place? We miss them!” Their approach usually involves showering our kids with sweets, fast food, and plenty of screens—leaving us with sugar-fueled kids and a sense that family rules have taken a backseat.
And you know what? I’m okay with a little indulgence. Given that they live in Idaho while we’re in Oregon, their time with our kids is limited, and they certainly make the most of it. They even spend a week at our home, which has its pros and cons. On one hand, we benefit from extra hands around the house, some much-needed date nights, and handy fixes from my father-in-law. On the other hand, bedtime routines go out the window, and having family stay over for an extended period can be a bit uncomfortable.
In contrast, my mother brings an entirely different vibe to grandparenting. After my father passed away when I was just 19, it’s just been her. She’s remarried, but my stepdad tends to keep to himself. My mother has a more structured approach, often saying, “Your hour is up!” when the kids visit. Living in Utah, she’s great at sending gifts and never forgets a birthday or holiday. When the kids are at her place, she also treats them but is careful to ask about our house rules, which I genuinely appreciate.
If I were to compare both sets of grandparents, they would be on opposite ends of the spectrum. I’m not sure how well they would get along, as their styles and philosophies differ so greatly. There’s no animosity, but it’s clear they approach family life in their own distinct ways.
Not every grandparent fits neatly into a mold. Some are disengaged, while others are overly involved, offering unsolicited advice on parenting or questioning our life choices. Many of us can relate to these dynamics, and it’s likely that grandparents have their own opinions about how we raise our kids. While I believe that most of us are doing our best, it’s easy to overlook the challenges they face in navigating their new roles.
As parents, we’re constantly learning and evolving. Our kids are growing up in a world that’s different from the one we knew, facing unique challenges. It’s essential that we extend some understanding to our parents as they figure out how to be grandparents. They love us and our children, and I’m thankful they didn’t leave us in the woods—though I can see how they might have considered it at times!
Of course, there are exceptions. Some grandparents may struggle with serious issues, and in those cases, it’s understandable to limit their involvement. But for the most part, if they are genuinely trying, maybe it’s time to recognize their efforts and express our gratitude. After all, we all want to be supported in our parenting journeys.
If you’re curious about home insemination options, check out this insightful post at intracervicalinsemination.com. For more information on at-home methods, Make A Mom is a great resource. Additionally, UCSF Center provides excellent information on pregnancy and related topics.
Summary
Grandparenting styles can vary wildly, from those who spoil their grandkids with treats and indulgence to those who maintain a more structured approach. While every grandparent has their unique way of showing love, it’s crucial for parents to recognize their efforts and extend grace as everyone navigates their evolving roles in family life.