Parenting
By Jamie Carter
Updated: April 21, 2020
Originally Published: May 17, 2015
I’m feeling quite lonely. The other day, I confided in my brother, who is single, and he replied, “But you’re always around people. How can you be lonely?” It’s a question I’ve pondered countless times since becoming a parent. How is it possible to feel isolated when I’m constantly engulfed by my kids? Even when I sneak away for a moment of privacy, there are two little humans practically glued to me—yes, even during bathroom breaks.
Is it because my little companions can’t engage in deep conversations? Is it because our interactions mainly consist of me issuing commands? “Wash your hands. Stop bothering your sister. Get your hand out of there.” Is it due to my husband’s frequent travels making him seem like he resides in another city? Whatever the cause, it’s undeniable—I feel lonely.
There are days where I don’t have a single adult conversation. Days where no one checks in on me or asks about my feelings or thoughts. Days spent navigating the complexities of parenthood without a single glance from someone who truly understands. Someone who offers that knowing nod that says, “I get it.” And that’s incredibly isolating.
Before I became a mom, I envisioned motherhood as a thrilling adventure—exciting, challenging, a bit scary, and definitely fun. But I never anticipated the loneliness that comes with it.
Motherhood is all-consuming and exhausting; it’s almost designed to be isolating. After a long day wrangling kids, the thought of going out or even reaching out to a friend feels overwhelming. By the evening, I often lack the energy to engage in meaningful dialogue with my husband.
I attempt to alleviate my loneliness by forging connections with my kids. As they grow, it does improve—though not entirely. I vividly recall those grueling newborn days when I felt completely invisible, like I was on a distant planet while everyone else was light-years away. While I can have (somewhat) decent conversations with my kids now, it doesn’t fill the void of adult companionship. It doesn’t replace that genuine connection with someone who looks you in the eyes, listens intently, and says, “I hear you.”
And that, my friends, is lonely.
If you’re interested in exploring more about the emotional aspects of parenthood, check out this insightful post on intracervicalinsemination.org. For those considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reliable kits to help you on your journey. Additionally, March of Dimes provides a wealth of resources for pregnancy and insemination.
In summary, feeling lonely as a parent is more common than one might think. It’s a paradox of being surrounded by loved ones yet longing for deeper adult connections. Motherhood may be rewarding, but it can also be isolating, and recognizing these feelings is an important step towards finding support.
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