Let’s get one thing straight: when I refer to “new” mom friends, I’m not talking about young women sporting baby carriers and diaper bags. No, I’m talking about those seasoned ladies sporting a few wrinkles and some strategically dyed hair, who have lived through chaos and come out with some epic stories to share—often laced with colorful language. These are my tribe.
Back when I was a new mom, I barely had the luxury of friendships. I was in survival mode, fueled by an endless supply of mediocre coffee and a desperate need for some adult interaction. Now, though, I find myself in a situation where I have the chance to connect with other grown women who are choosing to spend time with me—on purpose! (I know, shocking, right?)
I’ve generally had my best friend Laura by my side, and that was fine with me. New to the area and a bit of a mystery, I was perfectly content in my little bubble. Weekend plans? Not really my thing, especially since I tend to be a tad grumpy and emotionally exhausted from dealing with my own family. The thought of forming new attachments felt overwhelming.
But then, out of nowhere, I stumbled into a genuine group of mom friends who seem blissfully unaware of my quirks. Lucky for me, I’ve learned that following a few simple rules might just prevent me from being the reason no one wants to hang out on a rare free night.
1. Maintain an Air of Mystery
This rule applies to both in-person interactions and the daunting world of group chats. Just like in dating, the less your new friends know about your less-than-glamorous traits, the better. For example, my new pals think I’m some kind of tough cookie because of a past in martial arts. Instead of correcting their misconceptions, I just keep up the facade with a thumbs-up emoji and let the conversation carry on. If they knew I was terrified of things like needles and biscuit cans, I doubt they’d see me as that “badass” anymore!
2. Avoid Being Overly Needy
I have to admit, I often crave constant affirmation. But in a group of women, everyone deserves their moment in the spotlight. As a self-proclaimed attention-seeker, I’ve learned the hard way that it’s essential to give compliments and support to others instead of just seeking it for myself. It’s been quite a personal growth journey to understand that everyone brings their own shine to the table, and it’s refreshing not to lean solely on my best friend Laura for validation.
3. Prepare Your Kids (and Yourself)
Your children are part of this whole package deal, so brace yourself for the inevitable embarrassing moments. For instance, if your kid has a knack for bathroom disasters, like breaking a toilet during a gathering, inform your new friends ahead of time. And don’t forget to bring a backup plan—like a scented plug-in to mask any odors. Kids behave unpredictably in social settings, and it’s unrealistic to expect them to act like golden angels. It’s all part of the parenting journey, right?
In summary, just be yourself but maybe tone it down a notch at first so you don’t scare off potential friends before they get to know the real you (quirks and all). Oh, and finding a group of moms who share similar struggles and challenges can help forge those essential bonds.
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