When my partner and I first considered leaving the hustle of the city, my primary worry revolved around food. “We’re going to starve!” I exclaimed, fearing a life reliant on takeout. “Don’t worry, I’ll learn to cook!” he replied with optimism. And he did. Fast forward to today, with two kids in tow, he’s taken on the role of the family chef. While I’ve dabbled in baking to cover breakfast and dessert, he handles dinner—a task he’s fully embraced.
When people discover this arrangement, they often treat him like a superhero. While I appreciate his skills, it leaves me pondering: if I were the one cooking, would I earn the same accolades? Likely not.
Dad blogger Jake Thompson shared an insightful piece about his past misconceptions surrounding parenting. He once believed his late-night care for their newborn was something to be praised, as if he was exceeding expectations in a role traditionally associated with mothers. After some heated discussions with his partner, he realized the error in his thinking and made amends.
This phenomenon extends to even the most progressive dads. My husband, a true collaborator in parenting and home management, still finds certain tasks gravitating toward me without much discussion. It’s not just him; it’s the surrounding community—the other parents, schools, and even doctors’ offices all seem to default to me for communication. Sometimes, I even find myself falling into this pattern.
For instance, when our child falls ill at school, my phone is the first one they call. Invitations for birthday parties and school events are always sent to me. When it’s time to arrange summer activities, guess who’s in charge? And when the kids wake up in the middle of the night, it’s typically me who responds. I could go on, but the underlying issue is clear: women often bear a heavier load in family dynamics, despite all the progress that’s been made.
Here’s the kicker: we also want acknowledgment for our efforts. Like many parents, I rise before everyone else to make coffee, empty the dishwasher, prepare breakfast, and pack snacks. I ensure the kids have seasonal clothes and school supplies, and I handle birthday gifts for their friends. The list is endless, and I’d appreciate a simple thank you.
When my husband notices my stress and steps in to lighten my load, I express my gratitude. So why are my contributions often met with indifference? Conversely, many fathers expect recognition for their involvement.
The solution isn’t to stop commending dads; it’s about understanding that managing a household, especially with children, is equally taxing for both parents. We all deserve appreciation for navigating the daily chaos of school demands, home repairs, and the myriad of responsibilities that can be overwhelming.
Whether it’s the mom or dad caring for a child at night or staying up late for a teenager, all parents deserve gratitude for their contributions.
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In summary, both moms and dads play vital roles in family life and deserve recognition for their daily efforts. Let’s strive for a culture where both parents are appreciated equally for all they do.
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