At 2 a.m., my two-week-old baby, Noah, was once again crying. We were still figuring out the ins and outs of breastfeeding, and each time he latched, I winced in discomfort—often feeling like it was happening every few minutes.
My mother’s suggestion of taking a break and giving him a bottle echoed in my mind, but my husband was sound asleep in the next room. The only friend who had any knowledge on the subject lived over 1,000 miles away and wasn’t answering my texts. It was the witching hour when most people were deep in slumber, while my little one seemed to choose this exact time to wail. He always napped peacefully during the day, leaving me to weigh the merits of doing laundry or sneaking in a quick nap. (Spoiler alert: I always chose sleep.)
That bottle was becoming increasingly tempting. Then, I remembered a Facebook group on breastfeeding that my friend had urged me to join back when I was six months pregnant. “You’ll find it useful,” she assured me. Now, I desperately needed it. I opened the Facebook app, located the group, and sent out a cry for help.
“HELP! WHY WON’T THIS BABY GO TO SLEEP? MY BOOBS HURT SO MUCH, AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”
To my surprise, a notification popped up within minutes. A fellow mom, likely juggling her own baby while typing, reassured me that what I was experiencing was cluster feeding, which is typical for newborns. She told me that as long as Noah was peeing and pooping regularly, everything was fine and to hang in there because it would get easier.
I will forever be grateful to that anonymous woman, and to social media for being a lifeline during those exhausting early days of motherhood.
While it may not be groundbreaking advice, as a new mom, all I needed was reassurance. This was normal, my baby was okay, and I was doing well. Social media often doesn’t receive enough credit for helping mothers navigate the rocky waters of breastfeeding, especially when facing unintentional but misguided advice from family, friends, and even healthcare providers. Those women whom we have only interacted with online may be the ones who remind us to persevere, that it truly does get easier, and that frequent feeding is part of the process. They offer tips on latching, boosting supply, and when to consult a board-certified lactation consultant for additional support.
Many members of these groups are experienced lactation consultants or seasoned moms who have successfully nursed multiple children. What’s more, they are always accessible. Even though I later sought help from a compassionate lactation consultant and attended in-person support groups, none of that provided immediate relief during those late-night struggles when I was hesitant to reach for the formula can stashed away in the cupboard.
Perhaps those advising breastfeeding mothers to avoid spending too much time “brexting” should consider what those late-night sessions might entail. Many are seeking advice on breastfeeding challenges, like whether their baby has thrush, if certain vitamin drops are causing excessive gas, or when they should start pumping and storing milk for their return to work. Others may be scrolling through celebrity gossip to distract themselves from their sore nipples.
I didn’t invest in trendy drinks or supplements claiming to boost milk supply. The best advice I received was simply to feed my baby on demand and ensure I pumped every 2-3 hours back at work to maintain my supply.
Noah and I navigated that chaotic night and continued to breastfeed for 2 ½ years. My online breastfeeding group became my go-to resource for everything related to nursing, especially during those late-night hours when support was most needed.
When my second son, Ethan, was born, he was glued to my breast every waking moment. During those late-night cluster-feeding sessions, I knew better than to panic. I confidently picked up my phone at 2 a.m., nestled Ethan in a comfortable position to nurse, and opened my Facebook group.
“HELP! MY BABY KEEPS FEEDING, AND I’M NOT SURE IF I’M MAKING ENOUGH MILK! WHAT SHOULD I DO?”
I chimed in, asking about diaper counts and latching. All good?
“Nurse on, Mama. You’ve got this. You’re going to be just fine.”
This article was originally published on September 24, 2017.
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In summary, social media can be a powerful support system for new mothers navigating the challenges of breastfeeding. Engaging with online communities offers reassurance and advice, making those exhausting nights a little more manageable.