If you’re a parent, you’re all too familiar with those days that seem to spiral out of control. However, some days are more than just “those days;” they are full-blown Epic Chaos Adventures. Mom and contributor to Home Insemination Kit, Lisa Hartman, shared her hilarious morning saga on social media, and trust us—you’ll be laughing uncontrollably from start to finish.
And this is just her morning routine; the day hadn’t even begun yet! So, get ready for a wild ride.
Lisa kicks off her tale on a somber note about her dog, who was hit by a car last weekend and required leg amputation surgery (poor pup!). Naturally, Lisa has been busy caring for her four-legged family member, because that’s what loving pet parents do.
Now, we all know that when a mom is preoccupied, chaos is just waiting to unfold. In this case, it all begins with her daughter, Lily, noticing a strange burning smell wafting through the house.
“I smelled it too,” she shares. “It was like plastic melting, so I checked the toaster—nothing there. I raced upstairs to see if the girls left their hair tools on—still nothing.” The odor intensified, yet no smoke alarms were sounding.
What did she do next? Naturally, she roused her blissfully ignorant husband, who was peacefully sleeping through the chaos.
“Panic set in, and I shook Tom awake, half-yelling, ‘WAKE UP, SOMETHING IS BURNING, BUT I CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS AND WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!’” Totally a reasonable response, right?
Tom mumbled something about being woken up, and Lisa shot back, “SOMETHING IS ON FIRE IN THIS HOUSE! WE HAVE FOUR KIDS AND A HURT DOG—WE NEED TO GET OUT NOW! PUT ON YOUR PANTS AND HELP ME!”
Admittedly, we’re chuckling at the “hurt dog” reference. With a handful of kids, a limping dog, and a mysterious burning odor, we’d be raising the alarm bells too.
Eventually, they discovered the source of the burning smell: her son Jake’s sock, which was dangerously close to igniting in the light fixture.
“‘OH MY GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING? JAKE, YOUR SOCK IS GOING TO BURN DOWN OUR HOUSE! WHY IS YOUR STANKY SOCK ON THE LIGHT? WE COULD HAVE HAD A SOCK FIRE!’” Lisa exclaimed. While standing on a chair and using one of Lily’s dolls—now with a disfigured, melted head—to knock the flaming sock off the bulb, Jake merely shrugged and said, “Sock Fire would be a cool band name.”
Honestly, if you’re not laughing at this point, you might need to check for a pulse. The post-fire lecture she gave Jake was priceless: “’YOU KNOW THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A DISASTER, RIGHT? AND YES, IT WOULD BE A COOL BAND NAME, BUT RIGHT NOW, OPEN THE WINDOWS AND WAVE YOUR ARMS AROUND BECAUSE I JUST WASHED MY HAIR AND I DON’T WANT TO SMELL LIKE A BONFIRE TODAY!’”
But the saga doesn’t end there. After some calming deep breathing (thanks, Xanax), Lisa was grateful that things weren’t worse when one of her daughters came running to her, saying that Lily had found a baby squirrel that “wasn’t scared at all.”
Curious, Lisa went to check it out. Turns out, Lily was holding a six-inch-long baby squirrel. “He wasn’t scared because he was dead,” she said, helpless with laughter.
Realizing that her daughter was keeping the dead squirrel “warm” in her shirt, Lisa had to negotiate with her daughter, promising Doritos and a fudge pop to retrieve the unfortunate creature.
“I put his lifeless body in a bag, gave Lily a quick scrub down, and delivered on my promise of Doritos and a fudge pop,” she recounted.
What a rollercoaster! From a singed sock to a plastic-bagged squirrel, this morning is a masterpiece of parenting chaos.
And the cherry on top? “All of this happened before 7:00 AM. Just a reminder that life can throw curveballs, so we might as well roll with it!”
For more parenting tales and insights, check out our other blog posts like this one. And if you’re interested in home insemination options, visit this link for expert advice. Additionally, this resource is an excellent option for exploring pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, Lisa’s chaotic morning is a hilarious reminder of the unpredictable adventures of parenthood, and a testament to the resilience and humor that comes with it.