Parenting
By Mia Thompson
Updated: March 11, 2023
Originally Published: Sep. 23, 2017
While some parents envision large families, others are content with just one child, whether by choice or circumstance. Many families who initially planned for more may find that their family feels complete after welcoming their first. I, however, don’t fall into those categories. I had always intended to have two or three children, ideally with a partner by my side to share the journey.
Although I faced challenges conceiving, I successfully used a donor and IVF, and I believe I could do it again. However, financially, it would be neither feasible nor responsible for me to welcome another child into our lives at this time. Thus, I find myself as a “one and done” mom. I adore my little guy more than I ever imagined possible, and I feel I have even more love to give—perhaps not during the chaos of toddler tantrums and teething, but definitely in the future.
It’s disheartening to realize this, and I often feel a pang of sadness. I thought I had come to terms with the absence of a partner to raise a family alongside before my son was born. Yet, I didn’t fully grasp the constraints of being a single mother until I experienced the joy of pregnancy, the thrill of watching my son grow and develop, and the desire to share my love of life with someone who sees the world through wide-eyed wonder. Watching my nephew bond with his little sister and cousin makes me wish my son could also experience being a big brother.
Perhaps my sadness stems from fluctuating hormones as I gradually wean my son. Or maybe it’s the worry about raising an only child; I never knew any growing up and am unsure how it will shape his experiences. Seeing friends and other single mothers trying for more children also stirs up feelings of nostalgia and jealousy.
I’ve started to realize that my son and I are moving beyond certain milestones, and while it’s thrilling to witness his progress, it’s also bittersweet to bid farewell to those early stages. I know there are countless firsts ahead: his first sentence, bike ride, and day of school. If I had another child, they would also pass through these stages quickly, and I’d find myself saying goodbye to babyhood once more. It’s hard not to think that everyone who desires it should get to experience parenting more than once; perhaps the second time, I would be more present and appreciative of each small moment.
The odds of having another child are akin to winning the lottery, as that’s likely what it would take. This reality is disheartening, but acknowledging it while my son is still so young offers me a unique opportunity. It allows me to savor every extraordinary moment we share, while also finding comfort during the more challenging times. He may be my “one and done,” but I have no one else to hold back for, no one to think, “Maybe next time…”
It’s just us, and we will make the most of it—though I’ll still occasionally play the Powerball, just in case. For more insights on this journey, you can check out resources like Healthline for information on pregnancy and home insemination or visit Make a Mom to learn more about home insemination kits. If you’re interested in privacy policies, you can find more details here.
Summary
Navigating the parenting journey as a single mother has led me to embrace being ‘one and done.’ Although I longed for multiple children, I’ve come to terms with the limitations of my situation. Watching my son grow brings both joy and sadness as I realize we’re leaving certain stages behind. While I wish for the chance to experience this journey again, I remain grateful for the moments we share, savoring every day with him.