Not long ago, I received a message from a reader who had come across an article I wrote about my partner. It was a sweet note, but one line struck me with discomfort: “I wish I had your confidence.” She shared that while my experiences as a plus-sized woman resonated with her, she felt her own self-image was lacking. To her, I seemed vibrant and self-assured, while she viewed herself as merely existing.
In my response, I aimed to uplift her, but I couldn’t shake off the urge to tell her, “Oh, if only you knew!” I completely understand her feelings because, quite frankly, I experience them, too.
I often wish I could embody that unwavering confidence all the time—the bold, outgoing woman who always seems sure of herself. Don’t misunderstand me; I am confident. I genuinely believe I am beautiful, intelligent, and deserving of love, joy, and respect. Most days, I feel good about who I am and firmly assert that my weight doesn’t define my worth.
I cherish my life in this body. I can pull off a bold lipstick like nobody else. I have a wonderful family, and I’m the type who laughs heartily and loves deeply. I’m proud of the person I’ve become through hard work and self-reflection.
Yet, I cannot deny that there are moments when being plus-sized feels incredibly challenging. The negative narratives surrounding larger bodies are pervasive, and it’s tough to ignore them daily. Sometimes, I find myself absorbing the critics’ messages, causing me to overlook my own strengths and beauty.
Currently, I’m not at a weight where I feel entirely comfortable, and that affects how I perceive myself. It can even prevent me from participating in activities due to concerns about how I might look. For me, being overweight is not merely a fact; it’s a complex emotional experience.
Still, this body is the only one I have, and I refuse to harbor hatred towards it. On my tougher days, I remind myself of all the incredible aspects of my body that contribute to my well-being. Occasionally, I question whether it’s acceptable to celebrate a body so different from societal ideals. Some might argue that embracing fat bodies means endorsing obesity, but I reject that notion entirely.
I unapologetically celebrate every part of my body because it has supported me through life’s painful moments with grace and resilience. It has been my home during every joyful experience and has helped me achieve my dreams. In those breathtaking moments, I have always inhabited this body.
This body has nurtured my children, but I strive not to define myself solely through motherhood. Like I am more than just a fat girl, I am also more than a mother. My body’s ability to bear children does not solely determine my worth, nor does my weight diminish it.
So, I will not apologize for celebrating the joy of my existence. Recently, when I had a rough day and my spouse was away, I put on some lipstick, turned on Motown’s greatest hits, and danced with my kids in the kitchen. In those moments of laughter and joy with them, I stopped critiquing my body and felt gratitude for living these beautiful days.
There will always be days when I might feel unattractive or unworthy, but those feelings are misguided. My body is not my adversary; it is my ally. I owe so much to it, and I will not apologize for loving myself. You shouldn’t either.
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In summary, confidence and body positivity coexist even when acknowledging the challenges of being overweight. It’s essential to celebrate oneself and embrace the body you have, regardless of societal standards.