I adore the internet. It’s my source of entertainment, laughter, and endless information — plus, it gives me access to Amazon. What’s not to love? But when I miss the initial airing of a show, it’s incredibly frustrating. Not only do I have to find a good time to watch something I’ve been eagerly anticipating, but now I also have to dodge my beloved BFF — the internet — until I’m caught up.
Why? Because the online world can be a dark place filled with spoilers.
Few things are as infuriating as scrolling through your social media feed only to see someone like Mike McDougal, who you barely remember from high school, blurting out, “NOOOOOO, RIP (insert your favorite character)!” Seriously, Mike? I knew I should’ve unfriended you long ago.
Considering how much time the average person spends on social media daily (and trust me, it’s a lot), it should be universally understood that posting spoilers is just plain wrong. And let’s be real — slapping a “SPOILER ALERT” right before dropping a major plot twist for an entire season doesn’t count. I saw your alert, and I still read your spoiler. You’re a jerk.
These days, stumbling upon a spoiler online feels akin to walking into your local coffee shop, waiting in line, and having some random person burst in to whisper, “Caroline is Dominic’s secret lover and Jasminifred pushed her off a balcony.” You’re left standing there, shocked and furious, with your favorite show ruined.
Oh, and for those who are lost in this fictional drama, Caroline, Dominic, and Jasminifred are entirely made up — because I refuse to be a spoiler jerk.
This kind of thing happens so frequently that people are now isolating themselves from the internet until they can catch up on their favorite shows. That’s a real bummer. And don’t complain to me about wanting to discuss your favorite series with friends. You can still do that! Just find a private Facebook group or a message board dedicated to it. Or, better yet, have a real-life conversation about that emotional breakthrough character from This Is Us that made you both weep. It’s called bonding.
When a recent episode of a popular show leaked early, I stumbled upon a spoiler for one of the most significant moments in the series before it even aired. I added that person to my “Spoiler Hall of Shame” because there’s no excuse for posting such a major spoiler before the majority of viewers have had a chance to watch. I wanted to ask them what happened to make them so inconsiderate.
Discussing major plot points on platforms like Facebook and Twitter is incredibly selfish. I don’t care how emotional you feel about a twist. You want to share your feelings? Text your friends — but only after confirming they’re all caught up. Missing a crucial scene because of a text about Jasminifred stealing Caroline’s baby is a friendship-breaking offense.
So let’s make a pact. Repeat after me: Valar Nospoilerus. All men must refrain from posting spoilers.
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In summary, the internet is a fantastic place, but spoilers can ruin the viewing experience for many. Let’s all agree to keep the plot twists to ourselves until everyone has had the chance to watch the latest episodes.