As a working mother, I’ve often encountered comments that, while likely unintentional, can come off as judgmental or dismissive. Recently, I was inspired by a list shared by Sarah Thompson about what not to say to stay-at-home moms, which got me thinking about the things working moms hear. It’s important to foster understanding rather than division among different parenting choices. Here are ten phrases to steer clear of when chatting with a mom who works outside the home.
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“Can’t you afford to stay home?”
Assuming that a mother’s decision to work is solely financial is both reductive and disrespectful. Many of us work not just for monetary reasons but also for personal fulfillment, career progression, and the desire to model a balanced life for our children. Such inquiries can feel invasive and dismissive of our choices.
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“I’d do anything to get away from my kids for a whole day.”
If that’s genuinely how you feel, then I’m happy to help you explore career options! But let’s be real: working while juggling family responsibilities isn’t a vacation. It’s a balancing act that often leads to guilt and stress, not relaxation.
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“I’d miss my child too much to be away from them all day.”
I completely understand where you’re coming from; the emotional tug is real. However, working mothers often adapt and find strength in their routines. We manage our feelings out of necessity.
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“The issue with society today is that too many moms aren’t home raising their kids.”
Agreed! But are you advocating for better parental leave, flexible work options, and support for working parents? It’s easy to criticize without offering solutions. Remember, many fathers also wish to spend more time with their children.
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“Why did you have kids only to let someone else raise them?”
This question is not only rude but also ignorant. Many of us have made the choice to work because we want to provide for our families. We are actively involved in our children’s lives, even if we aren’t physically present at all times.
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“I don’t know how you manage; it must be so tough.”
Yes, it is challenging, but parenting is hard for everyone, whether you stay at home or work outside. We all have our unique struggles, but we’re also capable of overcoming them.
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“You must be so organized to juggle everything.”
While I appreciate the compliment, the reality is that I’m constantly teetering on the edge of chaos. I might seem organized, but I also have my fair share of mishaps and forgotten commitments. Balance is an illusion—it’s about managing controlled chaos.
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“You can always work later; these early years are so precious.”
All stages of parenting are precious. Why is it that fathers rarely hear this kind of comment? Let’s acknowledge that every parent values their time with their kids, regardless of their work situation.
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“You look exhausted.”
Thanks for the reminder! A little encouragement wouldn’t hurt, but let’s not draw attention to my dark circles. Perhaps a spa day would be nice, but that’s not a feasible option right now.
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“At least you cherish every moment you have with your child.”
Not every moment is a treasure; sometimes, parenting is downright exhausting. Yes, I do value my time with my kids, but I doubt it would be drastically different if I worked fewer hours.
And yes, I do worry about missing out occasionally. But when my child runs to me with a smile or says I’m the “best mom ever,” I know that I’m doing something right.
For more insights into parenting and family planning, check out one of our other blog posts here. If you’re considering at-home insemination, be sure to check out Cryobaby for their reliable kits. Additionally, Progyny offers a wealth of information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, being a working mom comes with its own set of challenges and rewards. It’s crucial to foster an environment of understanding, rather than judgment, to support each other in our unique parenting journeys.
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