My kids are always curious about my childhood, and I enjoy sharing stories that often evoke laughter or surprise—like when my brother got kicked out of my Little League games. However, during a recent drive, I opted for a different story, one centered around their Uncle Sam, especially with school around the corner.
Sam, my older brother by 18 months, was held back in school, so we always shared the same grade, which made us feel like twins. We attended various schools, but many years were spent together in the same classes.
Sam is the kindest person I know, and my kids absolutely adore him. He’s like a gentle giant, full of warmth and friendship. However, he also has a disability, which made him a target for a small group of bullies during his school years.
Most classmates were friendly, often smiling back when Sam greeted them or giving him high-fives. But for those few mean kids, he became an outlet for their insecurities and frustrations.
I can still picture the days I would turn a corner and see Sam breakdancing in the hallway, with onlookers watching as the bullies laughed at him. Sam, unaware of their malice, danced joyfully, thinking he was spreading happiness. I often felt compelled to intervene.
There were too many times I found him performing karate on a lunch table, only to witness the same cruel laughter. His lunch money was often taken, and he was made to repeat silly phrases to entertain others. At times, a pencil would be thrown at him just for amusement.
But one particular incident stands out clearly in my memory. One morning, a group of kids pressured Sam into removing his shoes and then tried to flush them down the toilet. The shoes didn’t go down but swirled around, much to the delight of the bullies. For the remainder of the day, Sam walked around in his socks. When I found out, I was devastated. I hid in the girls’ bathroom, kneeling in a stall, crying uncontrollably. It broke my heart to think how someone could be so cruel to a vulnerable individual.
Later, I shared how our dad left work to buy Sam new shoes, and how my mother and I cried together that evening. My children were puzzled by such cruelty, and I admitted that I still struggled to comprehend it—just as Uncle Sam did.
Then I shared this important message with them: Always treat others with kindness, both at school and beyond. Hurting someone also impacts those who care for them.
I urged my kids to be more than just nice; I asked them to stand up for those who need support. There were a few classmates who would intervene and offer Sam their protection, telling him they were there for him. They were not my friends, but their actions meant the world to me. They showed up for Sam when he needed them, and I encouraged my kids to emulate that spirit.
During that drive, I realized I had been so focused on preparing for school—schedules, clothes, and carpooling—that I had neglected to emphasize the crucial lesson of kindness. While it’s a lesson we can revisit daily, especially given the troubling stories surrounding bullying, it deserves more direct conversations.
I know my kids will make mistakes—they might unintentionally exclude someone or say something hurtful. This school year, I made it clear that any form of bullying or teasing is unacceptable and would be deeply disappointing.
As our children head back to school, let’s remind them to be compassionate and stand up for those who might need an extra hand. Somewhere out there, someone’s sibling will be grateful for their kindness.
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Summary:
In a heartfelt narrative, the author reflects on her brother Sam’s experiences with bullying during childhood and the importance of teaching her children the value of kindness and standing up for others. Sharing a poignant story about her brother’s challenges, she emphasizes the need for compassion in school and life.