Over the years, my partner’s travel schedule has crept up on us like a stealthy intruder, leaving me to manage our household solo. Suddenly, I find myself surrounded by children who are not exactly the most reliable help.
Initially, I was unprepared for how much I depended on him. Whether it was picking up that last-minute grocery item, waking up to comfort a child after a nightmare, or simply having an adult to share the daily ups and downs of parenting, his absence was felt profoundly.
In the beginning, I struggled. The kids seemed oblivious to his absence; their needs remained met, but I was the sole provider. After a few days, I felt utterly drained and overwhelmed trying to juggle everything. (To all military spouses and single parents out there, you are truly incredible and operate on an entirely different level.)
Throughout the years, I’ve had both wonderful and not-so-great experiences parenting alone during his work travels. Here are some tips to help you cope if your partner frequently travels for work:
- Manage Your Jealousy
It’s easy to feel a twinge of envy when your partner is enjoying meals at fancy restaurants in new cities while you’re knee-deep in macaroni and cheese and enduring long, drawn-out stories from your 10-year-old. Yes, they’re working, but a little part of you might long for that uninterrupted time away. - Dinner? What’s That?
When my partner is gone, dinner often becomes popcorn and ice cream, or breakfast for dinner. We might not sit at the table; instead, we’ll watch ’80s movies and embrace our laziness. Think of it like a first-semester college experience. - Avoid Overindulgence
The real fun begins after the kids are in bed, and I often find myself staying up late, binge-watching shows and pouring another glass of wine. But this only adds to my fatigue and doesn’t do me any favors. - Stay Calm
Consider investing in home security or a large dog, or even taking self-defense lessons. It can be unnerving to lie in bed alone, hearing noises outside and wondering what might be lurking in the dark. - You Can’t Do It All
You’re not superhuman. It’s impossible to meet everyone’s needs perfectly. As long as the kids are fed and clothed, you’re doing just fine. - Kids Have Different Priorities
Your children likely won’t care whether they’ve bathed in a few days or if the house is spotless. Their needs differ from yours. - Stick to a Routine
Consistency is key! Keeping things familiar helps the kids feel secure, which in turn makes everything easier for you. - Coffee is Your Best Friend
After a week of staying up late, dealing with the kids, and neglecting your diet, you’re going to need a lot of coffee to keep you going. - Utilize Technology
FaceTime can be a lifesaver, making you feel less alone. We often connect with family and friends, which helps to bridge the gap when my partner is away. - Remember They Live Here Too
When your partner returns, it can be challenging to adjust. I often find myself struggling to share the parenting duties after managing everything solo for a week.
If you’re in a similar situation, know you’re not alone. It can be both freeing and isolating, especially during the tough weeks when illness strikes. While it may not always be enjoyable, it’s certainly achievable, and we might even come through the experience learning more about ourselves.
For more insights into family life and managing parenting challenges, check out other posts on our blog, including this one about home insemination. If you’re looking for resources on fertility, Make a Mom offers a great selection of kits to assist in your journey. Additionally, you can find valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination through the Cleveland Clinic’s podcast.
Summary:
Managing a household while your partner travels can be challenging, but with some adjustments, it can also be manageable. From embracing a flexible dinner routine to utilizing technology for connection, these strategies can support you through those solo parenting stretches.