Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: Aug. 31, 2017
Does your mind feel overwhelmed? Mine certainly does — constantly. It’s as if my brain is a marathon runner nearing the finish line, desperately wishing for the daily grind of motherhood to take a break, for crying out loud!
This isn’t just typical parenting strain — no sleepless nights from a fussy baby or the chaos of a temperamental toddler. It isn’t triggered by household messes or minor disagreements with my partner. Instead, it’s a tormenting ache that screams, “I can’t decide anything else! Someone else, please take the wheel! Just guide me on what to do!”
Research shows the average brain makes around 35,000 decisions daily. If someone were to analyze all the choices a mother faces, I bet that number would easily double.
Consider this, fellow moms: from the moment you see that pink or blue line on a pregnancy test, your brain kicks into high gear. It’s safe to say that motherhood transforms us into control enthusiasts because each choice we make directly impacts our little ones’ lives.
For nine long months, we weigh every decision about what to eat, how to plan, and what to buy. Once the kids arrive, the decision-making escalates dramatically, leading to a whirlwind of “Should we do this? Or that? Why? Why not?” Suddenly, you’re juggling meal prep, school runs, laundry, and a multitude of responsibilities that feel suffocating.
From dinner plans to work commitments to family goals, the constant cycle of choices is relentless.
Then one evening, as you’re driving to a long-awaited date night, your partner casually asks, “So, where do you want to eat, and what movie do you want to see?” In that moment, your mind explodes — right there in the front seat of your car, with metaphorical brain matter splattering everywhere. The sheer weight of countless decisions over the years finally overwhelms you.
Looking at your unsuspecting partner, you quietly assert, “I can’t make another decision today. Or maybe ever.” Instantly, your mind feels lighter, craving someone else to take charge.
That feeling of relief? I want to experience it again and again. The reality is, I’m just so weary of having to control everything.
Today’s mothers face more choices than any previous generation. Take a look at the ketchup aisle in your grocery store. While our mothers had a couple of options, we’re confronted with an overwhelming variety. Sure, having choices is great, but the mental fatigue that comes with it can be exhausting. Even grocery stores have recognized that fewer choices can reduce shopper anxiety, leading to more relaxed spending.
So, how do we translate this into our roles as mothers? Perhaps the reason so many of us feel anxious all the time is that the weight of these decisions is clouding our minds. Here’s a revelation for you: it’s absolutely okay to step back and let others make choices for a change!
Transforming our decision-making habits is tough, but the payoff is incredible. I’ve started delegating decisions not just to my partner but to my kids as well. The outcome of lessening my grip on every choice has been nothing short of liberating.
Things still get accomplished — just not always in the way I would have done them. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. Embracing the realization that moms don’t have to shoulder every decision has made me a happier and more relaxed mom. And honestly, being a content mom is the best choice I’ve made.
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