Parenting
What Can I Do? This Isn’t Your Average Advice Column
By Jamie Rivers
August 31, 2017
Dear Jamie,
Lucy from Ohio writes:
How do I clarify the difference between being a stay-at-home mom and a work-from-home mom like myself? I feel like I constantly have to explain to friends and family that I can’t just drop everything for a spontaneous trip to the zoo or go out for margaritas at lunch. And then there’s the infamous “What do you do all day?” question. Uh, EVERYTHING?! I’m literally juggling diaper changes while I’m invoicing.
Sweet Lucy,
I totally get your frustration. I was a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) for several years, and let me tell you, that is serious work. It can be an incredibly fulfilling but equally draining experience. Sure, we adore our kids, but the constant demands—talking, whining, changing diapers, preparing meals, and ensuring they don’t eat cat litter—can definitely take a toll on you mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Unlike SAHMs who often have access to playgroups or fellow moms for outings, as a work-from-home mom, you’re expected to wear two hats at once. While you’re managing tantrums and broken crayons, you’re also trying to meet deadlines and tackle work tasks, all while navigating the chaos of family life. I can only imagine how exhausting that must be!
It’s no wonder you feel a sense of resentment when people don’t grasp the unique challenges you face. Here’s what I suggest:
First, know that people enjoy your company and want to include you, even if it feels frustrating. Acknowledge that initial urge to scream “I’m busy!” and try this instead: “I appreciate your invite to the trampoline park or that picnic by the babbling brook, but I have responsibilities at home. The kids need to eat, and I have work to finish. Maybe we can plan for a weekend when I’m not working?”
If they still don’t understand, take a different approach. Say, “Absolutely! Let’s have a playdate at your place. The kids can enjoy time together while you help with the chaos, and I can find a quiet spot to catch up on emails and reports. Thanks for understanding how tough it is to balance these roles.”
You’ve got this! I’m cheering for you every step of the way!
Best,
Jamie Rivers
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Summary
In this advice column, Jamie addresses the challenges faced by work-from-home moms like Lucy, who often struggle to explain their unique responsibilities compared to stay-at-home moms. Jamie encourages Lucy to communicate her situation more clearly to friends and family while reminding her of the importance of balancing work and parenting.