When I envisioned my first birthing experience, I pictured a serene atmosphere filled with soft music, smiling faces, and me effortlessly giving birth in my bathtub. I had seen the documentaries; I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. So when I stumbled upon a hypnobirthing class advertised at the birthing center where I received my prenatal care, I was immediately intrigued. HypnoBirthing is a well-regarded method that helps women prepare for childbirth in a calm and beautifully tranquil way.
“Perfect!” I thought. “I want to have a peaceful and extraordinary birthing experience. Count me in.”
Fast forward a few months, and my husband and I found ourselves ascending the stairs to a hypnobirthing class located above a yoga studio in downtown Brooklyn. Naturally. We were met by a serene woman with a welcoming smile. After handing over our $350 check and removing our shoes, we settled into the circle of couples already forming in the studio.
The initial sessions consisted of our instructor reading passages from the book Hypnobirthing Made Easy. I already had a copy at home, which was a bit disappointing, but her soothing voice made it bearable. By the third session, one of the other expectant mothers leaned over and whispered, “What’s going on? Are we actually learning how to hypnotize ourselves, or what? I definitely didn’t sign up for storytime.” I felt relieved to know that I wasn’t the only one with doubts. It seemed the instructor sensed our impatience because, in that session, she switched gears and showed us a series of birth videos.
Let me tell you, I have never seen such calm during childbirth. Honestly, I look more distressed doing sit-ups than any of those women did giving birth. One woman even appeared to have an orgasm, which is something I really wish I could unsee. As I sat there with my husband, who looked absolutely horrified next to me, I began to question whether I was really cut out for a peaceful birthing experience.
Then came session four. The moment we had all been waiting for: talk of hypnosis. The instructor guided us through a visualization exercise, and I was genuinely excited. She instructed us to close our eyes and relax, then imagine ourselves descending a staircase, with each step taking us deeper into relaxation. I was supposed to feel a sense of control, but in reality, I was flailing my arm around like a madwoman, confident that I could move it at will. When I peeked around, it became clear: I was the only one still in control of my hand. My husband, meanwhile, had dozed off, blissfully unaware.
The instructor counted down from ten, promising we would regain full control of our bodies upon completion. I elbowed my husband to ensure he was still “with us.” I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy that he managed to relax so thoroughly he dozed off. When it was time to share our experiences, the others spoke about their feelings of weightlessness and being submerged in water. I finally admitted, “I could move my hand. I could totally move it. I can’t imagine being conscious and not able to move my hand unless I was paralyzed.”
The instructor regarded me with a knowing look and asked, “Maria, have you always struggled with control?” Touché, lady. Touché.
In the end, my journey took an unexpected turn, resulting in an emergency c-section. Ironically, while I couldn’t move my legs, I’m pretty sure that had to do with the epidural. The takeaway? If you feel out of place in your birthing class, don’t fret. Not every method fits everyone. For more insights on this topic, check out this other blog post here.
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In summary, my hypnobirthing experience was far from what I had imagined, filled with unexpected challenges and realizations about my own need for control. It’s a reminder that everyone’s journey is unique, and it’s okay to feel out of place sometimes.
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