Published: November 13, 2019
Originally Published: August 21, 2017
Just two months ago, I welcomed twin girls into my life, and I find myself grappling with the pressures of reclaiming my pre-baby physique. More than that, I’m frustrated that this expectation even exists. It’s maddening to see headlines like, “Celebrity Loses 30 Pounds Three Weeks Postpartum,” or “How Supermodel Recaptures Pre-Baby Body.” These narratives set absurd and unattainable standards for the rest of us navigating the real world.
Why are magazines pushing this narrative? Why aren’t we showcasing the authentic reality of post-baby life? The reality includes the uncomfortable truths: the bulky underwear, the postpartum pads, leaky breasts, and the emotional turmoil that comes with sleep deprivation. It’s about the moments of doubt when you question your ability to care for a tiny human, the sore nipples, the challenges of breastfeeding, and the shifts in marriage and friendships. Yet, we are expected to fit into a size 6 in just a month?
Here’s a thought: rather than looking to celebrities on Instagram for quick-fix diets, let’s turn to one another to share our struggles and the hard truths. We often barely have time to prepare a meal—let alone a gourmet health plan. Making it to the gym can feel impossible, and we might feel sluggish, out of shape, and as if we are losing our sense of identity. Isn’t it time for real conversations?
I’ll admit, I feel a twinge of nostalgia when I see pictures of my pre-baby body. But truthfully, I didn’t appreciate it when I had it. Recently, while looking at old photos, I turned to my partner and said, “Was that really me? I never saw what you see.” Even during my peak fitness, I didn’t acknowledge how good I looked; I only focused on what I wanted to change.
For a long time, I have worked on my body image and now realize that if I want my daughters to embrace themselves, I must start with myself. Since becoming a mother, my perspective has shifted. I am dedicated to recognizing what my body can do instead of fixating on perceived flaws. I gaze at my belly, scars, and cellulite and remind myself, “This body created life. How could I ever dislike it? I housed two beings within me—what a powerful legacy!” Why aren’t we celebrating the incredible ability to create life, rather than idolizing models who bounce back in mere weeks?
I have a friend, Lily, who had her baby a year ago. She often expresses disappointment that her body hasn’t returned to its previous form. The truth is, for many of us, our bodies won’t revert to what they were before, and that’s okay. My life transformed with motherhood, and I embraced it willingly. Lily is an accomplished professional, devoted to her family, and still finds time for adventures like camping and beach trips, all while advancing her career. After a challenging journey to conceive, she now has a beautiful daughter. Yet, she fixates on not fitting into her old clothes. I see her as supermom; she sees herself as overweight. Why don’t we recognize our own greatness?
How we perceive our bodies sends powerful messages to our children. If we obsess over diets and rigorous workout routines, those notions will be absorbed by them. When we’re constantly critiquing our appearance and vocalizing our insecurities, our kids pick up on that. They don’t remember us for our looks; they remember us for our presence, our love, and our resilience.
The idea of bouncing back is no longer relevant for me. What matters is body empowerment. My goal is to love who I am in this moment. I exercise as a form of therapy—my way to clear my mind, relieve stress, and uplift my mood, not merely to burn calories. I eat foods that nourish me and make me feel good—sometimes that means a hearty salad, and other times it’s a delicious burger.
We all encounter negative thoughts and insecurities, but we have the choice to either give them life or let them fade away. Each day, I challenge myself and you to find one positive aspect about your body when you look in the mirror. Let’s shift focus to what’s right rather than what’s wrong. It’s within your power to change your perspective.
Let’s work on reducing our own body shaming. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, pause and replace it with something uplifting. This practice might be challenging, but the more we do it, the easier it becomes. Why do we find it so effortless to criticize ourselves yet struggle to offer compliments? We have the power to change this narrative—let’s wield that power to transform how we speak about ourselves.
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In summary, embracing the journey through motherhood means acknowledging the changes in our bodies and focusing on empowerment rather than unrealistic expectations. By fostering a positive body image, we not only uplift ourselves but also create a healthier mindset for our children.