Everything had to be just so. Dishes stacked perfectly, pillows fluffed, clothes neatly arranged, toys organized, and toothbrushes lined up flawlessly. There was a sense of calm and accomplishment when my surroundings were in order, making me feel content and in control.
However, as our family grew, achieving that pristine order became more challenging. I often found myself questioning whether my fixation on tidiness was truly worth the stress it brought. The longer it took to restore order, the more overwhelmed I felt. I began to associate my ability to keep everything tidy with my worth as a mother and wife.
In the whirlwind of two months between my youngest son’s 2nd birthday and my oldest son’s 5th (yes, we had three little ones under three for a brief period), I realized I had to adapt for the sake of my sanity. I started pulling clothes from the laundry basket without folding them, allowing toys to remain on the floor a little longer, and letting my husband handle the dishes without insisting on immediate tidiness.
I wish I could pinpoint the exact formula that helped me find this balance, as I would love to share it with other mothers and myself for those moments when I slip back into old habits. Perhaps it was simply my survival instincts kicking in. The constant pressure to maintain order was taking a toll on my well-being.
I was experiencing anxiety that manifested in various ways—whether it was during a work review where I was praised for my performance or feeling overwhelmed while traveling. I knew something had to change.
So, I made the conscious decision to accept that not everything had to be perfect or in its designated spot right away. Yes, our floors might have some dirt, there are toothpaste smudges on the bathroom counters, unfolded laundry sitting nearby, and fingerprints on the storm doors. But I’ve learned to ignore those demands of perfection and take care of them when I can.
You know what? Everything turned out just fine. My kids are happy and healthy, our home isn’t overrun with pests, I still show up to work in clean clothes, my relationship with my husband is as strong as ever, and I feel a lot better.
Don’t get me wrong; I still appreciate a tidy space. I simply refuse to let the journey to achieve that order rob me of my happiness. Instead of using any spare moments to tidy up, I now focus on activities that bring me joy: enjoying quiet mornings with a cup of coffee, writing, running, reading, cooking, connecting with friends, and going to bed early.
It still feels satisfying to have everything in its designated spot, but prioritizing my own well-being has proven to be even more rewarding.
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out our other post on home insemination for additional tips.
In summary, learning to let go of the need for constant order helped me reclaim my joy and focus on what truly matters in life.