Dear beloved children:
I need to have a serious discussion with you about something that’s been weighing heavily on my mind. We’ve shared this planet for quite some time, and throughout these years, I’ve devoted myself to teaching you the essential skills you’ll need to thrive in society. While I understand that some lessons take time to grasp, I always believed that this particular one would be a breeze for you to learn. Perhaps I was too optimistic—or maybe even a bit naive. But the evidence suggests that this might be one of the most challenging lessons to master.
As someone who once made a living as a teacher, I take pride in my ability to impart knowledge. I have plenty of strategies and philosophies at my disposal. Yet, despite all my efforts, I find myself utterly baffled by your inability to throw away a simple wrapper.
And I’m not just talking about occasionally forgetting. I constantly discover wrappers scattered throughout our home—in the car, stuck between couch cushions, under your bed, and even in your bedsheets. They seem to materialize everywhere! I’ll find them on the kitchen counter, a mere two feet from the garbage can. Seriously—how can you miss it? We even have a fun flip-top trash bin with a foot pedal. What could be more entertaining than that?
It’s hard to understand why it seems more enjoyable for you to witness my frustration over this small task than to just complete it. Am I not giving you enough positive reinforcement? Is this your way of punishing me for all those times I rushed you to put on your shoes when we were running late during your toddler years?
Or is it simply that you are untrainable? I mean, a monkey can be taught to dispose of a wrapper after unwrapping a snack. So why is this task so complicated for you? I’m genuinely curious because I feel like I’ve exhausted every approach possible.
We’ve been working on this since you were toddlers. “Trash goes in the garbage” has been our family motto for as long as I can remember. We tried the Montessori method with little brooms and dustpans, so it’s not like we slacked off in this area.
And it’s not like I’m always cleaning up after you. Can you even count how many times I’ve asked you to toss your own trash? I do it practically every day—year after year. Honestly, it’s astonishing that I still have any sanity left!
But my worries extend beyond my own mental well-being. We share this planet, and I’m starting to wonder how we’ll manage if my dear children can’t even put their trash where it belongs. My goal is to raise environmentally conscious individuals who strive to minimize their footprint and care for our planet. Right now, though, I can only envision a future where you’re navigating through piles of garbage in your own home.
What makes it even more amusing is how you occasionally attempt to reassure me by claiming that trash isn’t trash. “I’m saving that for something!” you say, pursuing an art project that hasn’t even been imagined yet. Or, “I’m collecting [insert specific item]!” No, my dear, we don’t collect trash! In fact, I’m tempted to turn that into a family motto to display prominently: “In this home, we love deeply, live fully, share willingly, forgive quickly, and do NOT collect garbage.”
But I haven’t lost hope. I know that you can learn to unwrap a snack, stroll over to the trash can, and dispose of the wrapper. We still have time to get this right. Come on, family, I believe in you. Let’s make this happen!
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In summary, I’m calling on my wonderful children to step up and embrace the simple task of throwing away their trash. With a little effort, we can work together to keep our home tidy and our planet healthy.