In a recent encounter on a social media platform for parents of boys, I came across a post from a mother who expressed frustration over the Disney Channel’s focus on empowering girls. She felt that this emphasis came at the expense of boys, and her outrage was palpable. Many other mothers chimed in to support her sentiment, prompting me to type a response that nearly left my fingers sore. My message conveyed that being male is often seen as the standard for success, while women and girls frequently require additional encouragement in a society that too often views them as inferior.
As much as I wanted to continue the discussion and advocate for the feminist perspective that was sorely needed, a comment from another mother about gender neutrality and fluidity being designed to undermine masculinity made me realize it was time to disengage before my frustration reached a boiling point.
Let me make this clear: Internalized misogyny exists. It is widespread, and ignoring it won’t make it disappear.
The discussion in that thread is just a small reflection of a larger issue. In contemporary society, particularly in the U.S., there is no genuine war on men or masculinity. Instead, we are witnessing a systematic assault on women’s rights that starts with reproductive autonomy and extends outward. Just look at the current political climate—it’s evident that women are under siege, yet some women still defend those in power. A staggering 53% of white women supported a president whose track record regarding women’s rights is horrendous, including his notorious remarks about women. This only illustrates how deeply ingrained internalized misogyny can be.
Let’s take a moment to reflect on the women who supported such a blatantly sexist figure. Many of them claimed to have never felt gender-based discrimination in their lives, leading them to dismiss the existence of systemic inequality. This perspective is not only narrow-minded but also dismissive of the experiences of countless other women, especially those who are women of color. Just because some women do not feel the effects of misogyny in their own lives does not mean it is not a pervasive issue.
Donald Trump embodies a stark example of misogyny, viewing women solely through the lens of their physical appearance. His statements about women reveal a troubling fixation on their bodies, and he has a history of demeaning women who do not fit his ideals. Yet, some women rationalize his behavior as ‘normal,’ perpetuating the cycle of internalized misogyny.
This mindset often leads to victim-blaming, particularly in cases of sexual assault. Have you ever heard a story about a woman being assaulted and thought, “Well, she should have been more careful”? If you have, that indicates you may be grappling with internalized misogyny. A woman’s choices do not justify the actions of an assailant, and it is crucial to challenge the harmful narratives that shift blame away from perpetrators.
There was an instance where I shared a story about a young woman who was assaulted by a friend. One acquaintance suggested she should have “known her limit” with alcohol. This line of reasoning is not just flawed; it’s dangerous. The responsibility for the assault lies solely with the perpetrator, not the victim.
It is challenging for women to unlearn these ingrained, misogynistic beliefs, but it is essential that we do so. We cannot afford to excuse male behavior or ignore the damage caused by perpetuating these harmful stereotypes. It is time to acknowledge that internalized misogyny is real and detrimental to us all. We must actively work to dismantle these beliefs, stop blaming victims, and start holding individuals accountable for their actions.
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In summary, internalized misogyny is a significant issue that continues to affect how women perceive themselves and each other. It is crucial for us to recognize and challenge these harmful narratives in our lives and communities.