Editor’s note: Daughter’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.
From the moment she was born, Mia was a whirlwind of energy. Even during pregnancy, she was constantly moving, performing backflips and karate kicks. She took her first steps at just 10 months old and never slowed down. I often joke that she was always on the go, even in the bathroom!
Mia’s personality was just as vibrant. She was witty, determined, and endlessly curious, crafting her own unique path in life. This same enthusiasm extended to her eating habits. As a toddler, she devoured everything in sight, except for one notorious exception: green beans. She embraced a wide variety of foods, from spinach to avocados, and even enjoyed a stew I made with tomatillo salsa. Her motto seemed to be that the more flavors, the better. As a parent, her adventurous palate was a dream come true.
When Mia decided she no longer wanted milk at every meal, I understood. She was active and needed water to stay hydrated. Over the next couple of years, she gradually eliminated more foods from her diet. I discussed her preferences with her pediatrician, who reassured me that children are naturally adept at adjusting their diets to meet their needs, sometimes opting for more protein one day and more fruits the next.
However, a nagging concern lingered in my mind. I noticed that while her peers grew taller, Mia seemed to plateau. When I saw her standing next to her classmates, she appeared significantly smaller, a full head shorter than the others. I asked the pediatrician during her age 5 wellness check if she might not be absorbing necessary nutrients for growth. I genuinely believed a simple vitamin would resolve the issue, and she’d soon be the same height as her friends.
The pediatrician was patient, running blood tests, but ultimately said, “Look, you’re short, and so is your husband. I’m afraid she won’t be a basketball star.” At her age 6 check-up, I raised my concerns again about her slow weight gain. The doctor ordered a bone density scan, which came back normal. “She’s just petite,” the pediatrician reassured me. Again, I pushed my worries aside.
Then, three weeks after Mia’s 7th birthday, everything changed. I received a troubling call from her first-grade teacher, revealing that Mia had been caught throwing away her lunch. When I spoke to her about it, Mia explained that she was trying to be healthy. I emphasized that eating is essential for growth and energy. Later that night, I brought it up again, hoping to understand better, and she revealed that this was a daily occurrence; she had been discarding her lunch regularly throughout first grade. I kissed her goodnight, my mind racing.
As I reflected, a terrifying realization dawned on me. Mia’s list of eliminated foods had grown alarmingly long, now including: milk, cheese, peanut butter, cake, potato chips, french fries, donuts, and all snacks and desserts. She was increasingly obsessed with asking if foods were healthy, scrutinizing labels, and negotiating smaller portions. She had even developed a fascination with cooking shows. In the moment, these behaviors seemed innocuous, but they were the insidious signs of a developing eating disorder.
A close friend encouraged me to reach out to an eating disorder center for an evaluation. The staff acknowledged that Mia’s behaviors were concerning but stated that at age 7, she was too young for their program and suggested I return in a few years.
Looking back, I regret my naivety regarding this eating disorder—a ruthless force that threatened to take over my daughter’s life. I initially interpreted the center’s response as hope that we could manage this ourselves with our pediatrician’s help. I wish I could shake my past self awake!
Thus began my journey into the world of eating disorders. I say “our” journey because my daughter is not alone in this fight. I’m fully committed to helping her reclaim her well-being. This experience has been the most challenging of my life, weighing heavily on my heart, but I refuse to surrender. The eating disorder will come to regret crossing paths with us.
If you or someone you know is facing an eating disorder, there are resources available. Check out this informative blog for more insights. Additionally, Make a Mom provides valuable information on fertility topics, and UCSF’s fertility insurance FAQ is an excellent resource for navigating pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, my daughter’s eating disorder crept into our lives unnoticed, and I was initially oblivious to its severity. However, I am now fully aware and prepared to fight for her recovery.