Updated: Aug. 7, 2017
My partner has decided to leave his job in the financial sector, a decision reached jointly with his boss this week. He has held a senior position for the past five years, and while this choice seems unexpected, reflecting on his time there reveals it was perhaps inevitable.
Several factors contributed to his departure. The company has been expanding, hiring several talented individuals who have taken on responsibilities he had been managing informally. Ironically, he played a significant role in recruiting this new talent. However, I suspect another reason for his exit is his struggle to align with a corporate culture that places family a distant second to commitment to the organization.
To be fair, he embraced the workaholic lifestyle, only pushing back at the edges. He rarely returned home before 7 p.m., which meant family dinners during the week were nonexistent. I would have dinner with our children while he would come home just in time to help with bedtime routines, catching brief updates about our sons’ days and squeezing in a quick story with our toddler. Then it was back to the laptop, working late into the night, sending emails and perfecting presentations. Yet, that wasn’t enough. His boss often wanted to meet on weeknights and weekends, calling or texting to arrange work discussions over coffee or tacos, a routine that became all too common. My partner tried to fit these meetings around our children’s activities and our toddler’s nap times but felt he couldn’t refuse.
Furthermore, the pressure to travel was mounting — weeks-long business trips abroad. I admit I struggle when he’s away. I can handle long workdays and evenings spent alone with the kids, but I need him to be there at night. A surprise pregnancy with our third child made it clear that these extensive trips were becoming an issue for us.
A few months ago, his boss’s wife reached out to me. We had conversed at various business functions, and I always found her company enjoyable. However, her email left me puzzled: “You seem like such a wonderful person. I’d love for us to meet for dinner!” Our dinner started off well, but it quickly shifted to a more serious conversation. She expressed that the company had exceeded expectations and suggested that perhaps our husbands could afford to work less. Yet, she seemed to wear her husband’s long hours as a badge of honor, sharing her experiences of managing children alone while he was absent. It was as if she was implying that we should accept this lifestyle without question.
I was taken aback. I would love for my partner to have more family time, but the corporate expectation was strong. I might have shown my frustration during our dinner, feeling as if I was being judged for not supporting the company’s demands.
It’s clear that we are at a cultural crossroads, where many in the professional world glorify the workaholic mentality. Despite knowing that relentless work hours can detract from parenting, it seems there’s little regard for personal boundaries. Our children cherish their weekends with their dad, when he can finally put down his devices and engage in play. Each time he was pulled away again, I found my frustration not aimed at him, but at the corporate culture that seems to prioritize work over family.
Does my partner need to socialize with his boss outside of work hours? Shouldn’t family time take precedence, even occasionally? These questions linger in my mind as I contemplate the current state of corporate America.
As we look toward the future, uncertainty surrounds us. However, we are fortunate enough to have the resources to navigate this change — a luxury not every family possesses. This is why I believe our culture must shift to promote a healthier work-life balance.
On a personal note, I feel a sense of relief. While the financial sector can be financially rewarding, I never felt entirely at ease with our time in a higher income bracket. Studies suggest there is a tipping point where additional income no longer correlates with increased happiness. Instead, it often leads to greater spending and inflated expectations. I’ve learned that life experiences shape our values; I watched my mother bravely confront a devastating illness, and in her passing, she left this world without taking any material possessions. Most people likely don’t wish they had spent more time at work or accumulated more things when reflecting on their lives.
I would gladly trade material possessions for more time with my partner and our children. Thank you, love, for choosing us — we are indeed a fortunate family.
For more insights on family planning and resources, visit this helpful guide on pregnancy. If you’re considering options for home insemination, check out this comprehensive kit for more information. You can also explore our terms regarding these topics.