I’m overweight. While my weight fluctuates, I always carry some extra pounds. I’ve experienced the cycle of losing weight only to gain it back again. But I made a decision long ago: regardless of my size, I will embrace my beauty and find happiness. I spend time exploring body-positive accounts on social media, following plus-size fashion influencers, and immersing myself in the stories of women who share similar experiences.
The discourse surrounding larger bodies is vast, filled with a mix of concern for our health and outright name-calling. Yet, there’s also a wealth of love and connection to be found. The “me too!” moments shared on social media create a beautiful sense of community, and I cherish witnessing that.
However, there’s a recurring issue. A man posts a body-positive message about a woman who is fuller-figured, and instead of simply celebrating his affection, he is often hailed as a hero simply for loving a woman who doesn’t fit the traditional mold of thinness. It’s as if he’s performed a grand act of charity or rescued a kitten from danger. This undeserved “good guy” status implies that he is making a significant sacrifice by loving someone who is not conventionally attractive.
Many women internalize the damaging belief that being anything less than thin makes us less worthy. I understand the struggle; messages reinforcing our unacceptability bombard us daily, and it can be exhausting.
But the idea that men should receive accolades for loving women like me? That notion is simply unfair.
My partner doesn’t deserve a pat on the back for loving me. I contribute a lot to our relationship—I’m intelligent, I bring joy into his life, and I play an integral role in raising our children. Together, we manage our household and support each other’s dreams. I am his partner, his confidante, and his best friend.
He is not doing me a favor by loving me; he’s fortunate to have someone as dedicated as I am. If he had overlooked me because of my weight, he would have missed out on the joy of loving an amazing person for the past 14 years.
My size does not make me a fallback option. I’m not a second choice; I’m a shining gold trophy. My partner doesn’t earn extra points for being with me. His reward for loving me is the deep love and commitment I offer in return.
Let’s stop giving him credit where it’s not due; he’s already won.
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Summary: This article challenges the notion that men should receive praise for loving women who are not thin. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing each partner’s value in a relationship and highlights the beauty and strength found in body positivity.