Last year, my child insisted I create a photo album showcasing our family trip to South Dakota. As we prepared for another getaway, I finally sat down with her to sort through the countless photos, write captions, and choose colors and designs for the book. It felt like a never-ending task, and without her prompting, I might have never completed it.
As I pieced the album together, I noticed a glaring trend: I was mostly absent from the photos. The images captured my husband engaging with our kids, both in candid moments and posed shots, but there were hardly any with me in them. My husband often claims his phone isn’t great for photography, but the truth is he just hadn’t thought to include me. I was missing from our memories.
With our upcoming family trip fresh in my mind, I made sure to address this concern on our next journey. Just a few hours into the drive, my phone was already filled with selfies and snapshots of my husband and kids during rest stops. Once we reached our destination, I casually mentioned to him how I felt overlooked in our past vacation photos.
I was the one who organized everything for the trip—I booked hotels, checked for pools and complimentary breakfasts, planned our meals, researched kid-friendly activities, and booked excursions. I even created a detailed packing list, ensuring the kids had everything they needed, from extra clothes to their favorite games and snacks. While I was busy making memories happen—playing with the kids in the hotel pool and teaching them about our surroundings—I realized I was hardly in any of the pictures.
When I brought this up to my husband, he didn’t offer excuses. Instead, he promised to make a conscious effort to capture more family moments during our vacation.
And this time around, he really delivered. I could often hear him say, “This is a great mom moment,” before dashing off to grab his camera. One of my favorites was when I was in my swimsuit, giving my son a peanut butter and jelly cooking lesson. I let him snap that one!
There were other moments too, like when I was lying on the beach, surrounded by kids digging in the sand. I didn’t realize just how many photos he had taken until we got home and I started downloading them. He had captured so many wonderful moments, many of which have become cherished memories with my children.
I learned an important lesson: I can’t just assume someone else will take those photos. I must ask my husband to snap the picture. It’s also crucial for me to feel confident in my own skin, embracing my appearance in every shot. When I look back at those photos, I try to focus on the joy of being a mother rather than critiquing my appearance.
Being included in our family vacation photos serves as a reminder that the woman behind the planning and effort was truly present—not just cooking meals or cleaning up, but genuinely enjoying life with her family. That’s the legacy I want my kids to remember from our vacations.
This article was originally published on Aug. 5, 2017.
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In summary, taking the initiative to ensure you’re included in family photos is essential. It’s a way to document your love and presence for your kids, creating lasting memories that they will cherish. So, moms, don’t hesitate to ask your partner to capture those special moments!