Menu
Parenting
Please Help This Exhausted Woman Find a Home for Her Troublesome Rooster
by Jamie Thompson
Aug. 3, 2017
We need to step in and assist her.
When it comes to getting rid of a less-than-desirable item on Craigslist or social media, most people instinctively try to make it sound better than it really is. However, one woman has decided to take a refreshingly candid approach in her quest to rehome her obnoxious rooster.
In a post that’s both humorous and desperate, Sarah Johnson, who raises chickens, has reached her limit with her troublesome rooster. Her Facebook advertisement doesn’t hold back; it paints a vivid picture of a total nightmare. Honestly, we can’t help but feel concerned for her well-being—her exhaustion from this feathered terror is palpable.
“FREE to any home. Well, honestly, I’m beyond caring at this point about where this inconsiderate jerk lands: ASSHOLE ROOSTER,” she begins. The situation doesn’t improve for Mr. Rooster from there.
“He’s the ideal rooster if your alarm has broken and you find yourself needing to wake up at 5:30 a.m. That’s his only setting. He doesn’t come with a snooze button but will go quiet just long enough for you to drift back to sleep before resuming his obnoxious cock-a-doodle-do right outside your window.”
Sounds a bit like a toddler, doesn’t it? However, we suspect that no amount of cartoons or sippy cups will coax this guy into letting you grab a few more minutes of sleep.
“It’s as if he can pinpoint your exact sleeping spot and has developed some sort of special x-ray vision to find you behind walls,” she quips.
To her credit, Johnson does attempt to highlight some of the rooster’s “benefits.”
“He’s also great if you’re looking to start jogging… around your yard… while trying to escape from him. He’s no longer aggressive towards me, as he now doubles as an instructor for interpretive dance.”
Dancing and exercise? What a deal!
“Or at least that’s how it appears as I flail my arms, jump up and down, kick at him, yell, and swing a mop in his direction.” Oh dear, that doesn’t sound very enjoyable at all.
“So if you’re in the market for an alarm clock that only goes off at 5:30 a.m., a personal trainer, and a dance instructor, I’ve got the perfect rooster who can fulfill all three roles FOR FREE!”
But there’s a catch: “You’ll need to come and catch this jerk. I want to see your first interpretive dance performance.” We’re all in for that, Sarah—please film it! Good luck!
And if you’re looking for more information about home insemination, check out this article for insights. For couples on a fertility journey, Make a Mom offers fantastic resources. Plus, Rmany has excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, a humorous woman is seeking to rehome her obnoxious rooster, describing his antics in a candid Facebook post. If you’re looking for an early alarm, a workout buddy, and a dance instructor, this rooster might just be the perfect fit for you!