“Has it arrived yet?” my 7-year-old son, Alex, asked for the umpteenth time. He had been eagerly anticipating the arrival of a crucial package — his beloved Snuggly. (And yes, it’s Snuggly with a capital S.) Alex accidentally left this worn-out, smelly piece of fabric at his grandma’s house over the weekend and has asked about its location no less than 56 times in the last two days. Bedtime is the most challenging, as he struggles to drift off without it.
Both of my kids have their own Snuggly, and I can count the number of nights they have spent without them on one hand. In fact, my older son, Ethan, clung to his Snuggly every single night until he was nearly 10. Whenever Ethan felt anxious, tired, or sad, he would cuddle that old fabric, often rubbing it against his nose while sucking his thumb. (Yes, that’s right. He sucked his thumb until he was almost 10, and his orthodontist assured me it was nothing to worry about.) With his Snuggly in one hand and thumb in mouth, Ethan was like a miniature Linus.
While Alex doesn’t suck his thumb, his attachment to Snuggly is just as profound, and I have no intention of rushing him to give it up. Some parents feel pressured to encourage their children to part with transitional objects, like blankets or favorite stuffed animals, often due to the hassle of keeping track of these items. And believe me, it can be quite the chore. We’ve gone out of our way for over 40 minutes to retrieve a forgotten Snuggly, and I’ve asked countless times, “Do you have your Snuggly?” before heading out, only to double-check multiple times. I’ve spent hours looking for a misplaced Snuggly — in the fridge, under beds, outside, beneath sinks, in the car, and even in the trash. (Yes, the trash.)
Contrary to popular belief, security objects aren’t “babyish,” and children who rely on them aren’t weak or insecure. In fact, studies indicate that comfort items can empower children, enabling them to feel more secure in unfamiliar situations, such as starting school or spending the night away from home. Research suggests that kids with blankets, loveys, or other comforting objects tend to be less shy and more focused than those who don’t use them.
As Anna Walters notes on Dose, “Their lovey objects are like the first training wheels for telling themselves ‘you’re all right.’” With a built-in sense of security, children feel safe enough to take small risks, explore, and grow. These security objects also help children develop connections outside of their parents, easing separation anxiety and making them more comfortable in new environments.
Many parents feel the need to apologize for their child’s attachment to a security object, viewing it as socially unacceptable or inconvenient. However, experts agree that one of the best choices my partner and I made was to let our children keep their Snugglies until they were ready to let go. Colleen Goddard, an early childhood educator, emphasizes in Psychology Today that removing or denying access to a comforting object can lead to increased anxiety. Research even suggests that children deprived of such objects may be more prone to psychological issues.
Furthermore, security items can foster connections between children and adults and among children themselves. The reality is that we all have our own security objects, whether we recognize it or not. It might be a smartphone, a wedding ring, a cherished family photo, or a handkerchief tucked away in our purse. As therapist Mark Brenner points out, these objects ground us, bringing us back to “a place and time of great solace and memory.” They help us feel connected and present; without them, we can feel disoriented. These items are not signs of weakness but essential tools for feeling comfortable in a chaotic world.
Experts suggest that security blankets bridge the gap between safe spaces, like home, and new experiences, like school. They also facilitate the development of a child’s inherent sense of self, a crucial milestone that I find I’m still navigating as an adult.
Eventually, Alex’s Snuggly arrived in the mail, restoring peace to our household. I sometimes wondered if Ethan might take his Snuggly to college, but he stopped using it just before turning 10. It now sits at the bottom of my nightstand drawer — where it will remain for as long as I need it. And that’s perfectly okay.
For more related insights, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Also, you can find valuable information at this site dedicated to home insemination kits. To learn more about our other topics, visit this link for additional insights.
In summary, allowing children to keep their lovey until they are ready to part with it can help them feel more secure and confident. Comfort objects play a significant role in a child’s emotional development and can aid in their ability to navigate new experiences.