You can call me a stoner, a burnout, or any other label you want. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me anymore. I’ve discovered a remedy that consistently alleviates my anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Cannabis has become my go-to solution: it eases my panic attacks, elevates my mood during rough patches, and helps me fall asleep quickly at night. As a parent, I have no reason to feel ashamed. In fact, this plant empowers me to be the best version of myself.
I’m not the archetype you might envision from your college days—hustling through sketchy deals. At 34, with two kids, my approach to cannabis is far more responsible. I obtain my supply legally from a state where it’s permitted, using methods that are discreet (shipping it is not allowed, and possession is illegal in my state). The cannabis I use is not the low-quality stuff of the past; it’s a meticulously cultivated strain designed for mood stabilization and relaxation, devoid of the excessive side effects that might leave you munching on snacks mindlessly.
I prefer using a sleek vape pen rather than messy loose-leaf products, and I typically reserve it for nighttime when my kids are asleep. I ensure my bedroom door is closed, and with a fan running, the vapor is almost odorless. My children are completely unaware of my cannabis use. I plan to discuss it with them when they’re older, but for now, it’s safely stored out of their reach.
Occasionally, I find myself needing a hit during the day. Just the other afternoon, a work-related issue triggered a panic attack. It seemed trivial, but my fight-or-flight response disagreed. I took a moment to step away, used my pen, and within two minutes I felt the tension ease. I regained my perspective and could return to my family, no longer in tears. Just one hit provides enough relief to enhance my experience of parenting without leaving me in a daze.
Although I have two prescribed medications for anxiety, neither compares to the immediate effect of cannabis. Xanax would take longer to kick in, leaving me still anxious, and Klonopin would only exacerbate my distress for at least a half-hour. In contrast, cannabis provides relief in moments, allowing me to resume my daily life without the residual side effects that often accompany those pills.
By incorporating cannabis into my nightly routine, I’ve noticed a significant reduction in both my insomnia and depression. While I take other medications as well, none have effectively lifted my spirits like cannabis has. I used to grapple with dark thoughts and feelings of unworthiness, but gradually, I started feeling better and more like an integral part of my family. The connection to the cannabis was slow to dawn on me until I unexpectedly ran out and noticed my mood dip again. Once I restocked, the dark cloud lifted.
I’m not an activist for cannabis legalization, but I believe it should be available to those who need it. I’m not down at the capitol waving signs or advocating for the cause. My home is a typical one filled with toys, clutter, and the chaos of family life. Yes, I use cannabis to cope with my mental health, but it doesn’t define me.
If you saw me on the street, you wouldn’t guess my secret. I’m just an everyday mom who turns to cannabis to navigate the challenges of anxiety and depression. Call me what you will; I’ve moved past the stigma. This green medicine works for me, and I’m going to continue using it.
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