A seemingly innocent moment, where a child points or whispers at someone who appears different, can hold a deeper significance than many realize. It can be incredibly painful for those on the receiving end.
“Today was tough,” shares Lisa Peterson, an Arizona nurse and mother of six, four of whom are adopted and have special needs. In a heartfelt Facebook post, she recounts a recent experience at a new church. As she and her 9-year-old son, Max, entered the children’s room, an eerie silence fell, followed by stares and whispers from the other kids.
“I understand he looks different, but today was painful,” she writes. “I stood at the door, watching as every child gazed at my son with wide eyes and open mouths.” Max was born with a rare craniofacial condition and has only one ear. While Lisa is aware of how he looks, that knowledge doesn’t lessen the impact of the stares.
As she prepared to speak to the class about embracing differences, her attention was drawn to Max, who had retreated to a corner, hiding his face in his arms. “My heart sank as I returned to him,” she recalls. When she asked if he wanted to leave and he nodded yes, he bolted from the room. During the service, as Lisa comforted her son, he wrote “Max loves Mom” on her palm.
Tears filled her eyes. “My precious son deserves so much more than judgmental glances,” she writes. Initially, her reaction was anger, a feeling many parents might share. “I wish I could say it doesn’t frustrate me because they are just kids, but my instinct is that of a protective mom,” Lisa tells Home Insemination Kit.
She reflects on a universal truth in parenting: as children grow, they become more aware of the world around them and can no longer be shielded from its harsh realities. “It hit me that Max is nine now, and I can’t always protect him,” she says.
While she usually takes on the role of educator, that day was different as her priority was comforting her son. Lisa and her husband both hold degrees in education and have worked as teachers. “Children may stare, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. Empathy isn’t just a lesson; it’s a vital part of life,” she emphasizes.
Their family includes a child with spina bifida who uses a wheelchair, another who suffered a traumatic brain injury, and yet another who has a feeding tube. They are also in the process of adopting a 2-year-old with limb differences.
In her poignant post, Lisa implores other parents to have conversations about differences with their children. “Teach them that many people look unique. Show them images of diverse individuals, and explain that it’s never okay to stare or point,” she advises.
She encourages parents to use her story as a starting point for discussions. “Let your kids know that Max is just like them on the inside. He loves trucks, Minecraft, and playing outside. He has likes and dislikes just like any other child,” Lisa explains. “And importantly, he wishes people wouldn’t point out how he looks. It’s a reality he faces daily.”
Lisa doesn’t harbor resentment toward the children who stared; she believes they simply haven’t been taught about acceptance and embracing diversity. “It’s our responsibility to educate our kids,” she urges. “Show them pictures of individuals with different skin tones, abilities, and physical appearances. Teach them that true beauty comes from within, not from outward appearances.”
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In summary, Lisa’s heartfelt message serves as a reminder of the importance of teaching empathy and acceptance. She encourages parents to engage in conversations about differences, fostering a more inclusive and understanding environment for all children.