In today’s world, it feels like there’s an ongoing debate about the “right” way to parent—whether it’s the helicopter versus free-range methods, working moms versus stay-at-home moms, or mainstream practices versus natural approaches. The list goes on and on, and frankly, it’s exhausting. Parenting is filled with countless decisions to make each day, and ultimately, those decisions should rest with the parents of each child. There is no one-size-fits-all method; every parent and child has unique needs.
Sarah Thompson, a mother of three who blogs at Modern Day Mom, is fed up with the incessant mom wars. She recently shared a powerful post on social media that has struck a chord with many who are also weary of the judgmental attitudes prevalent in parenting circles. “My house is a constant mess. Seriously—never clean. I have friends with kids whose homes are immaculate. Does that mean they’re superior mothers? Absolutely not. Am I a better mom? Not at all,” she writes. “I know a mom who had a home birth in a tub. I had my kids in a hospital, complete with an epidural. Both of us are great moms. I enjoy a glass of wine occasionally, sometimes even in front of my kids! That doesn’t make me a bad parent. My neighbor doesn’t drink at all, and she’s just as wonderful.”
Sarah goes on to confess that she sometimes yells at her kids, swears, and that her children occasionally have popsicles for breakfast—specifically, the kind that come in bulk for just a couple of bucks. This doesn’t define her worth as a mother.
Judging someone without understanding their circumstances can be a humbling experience. For instance, I heard a nosy neighbor ask a friend when she planned to start a family. My friend smiled and replied, “I just had my third miscarriage.” The same principle applies to different parenting styles. That ‘helicopter’ mom might have a child with special needs, while the working mom could be providing for her family, or even thriving in her role as a parent. Every parent’s choices are influenced by a myriad of factors that outsiders often overlook. So let’s focus on our own families and support each other.
Sarah shared with us that she penned her post because she reached her limit with judgment. “We’re all doing the best we can. I’ve faced harsh criticism online for everything from enjoying a drink to being overly cautious or letting my house get messy. My friends who choose to formula feed also face the same scrutiny. It’s ridiculous. We all want to feel validated, so why not extend support and kindness instead of harsh judgment?”
“Does being married make someone a better mom than a single parent? Absolutely not. Can you be a great mom with a packed schedule of activities for summer? Sure. What if you prefer a laid-back summer with no plans? That’s also fine,” Sarah emphasizes. “Are good moms okay with their kids watching TV? Yes. And if you set strict limits on screen time? That’s perfectly acceptable too! Your choices as a mother are valid.”
She advocates for a shift from judgment to support among mothers. “Motherhood is tough,” she insists. “You’re doing a fantastic job. Raising children can be overwhelming, but you can handle it.”
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In summary, let’s unite as moms and offer support, grace, and understanding to one another instead of criticism. Every family is different, and that’s what makes parenting a diverse and enriching experience.