When my children were infants, they were the cutest, roliest babies you could imagine. I have photos of them at just six months old, their little thighs adorned with adorable rolls. Friends and family often commented on their chubby cheeks and round bellies, and I’d share that their plumpness came entirely from breast milk. Everyone found it charming, as they were still so young.
As they grew into toddlers, their bodies began to change. They slimmed down and, during various growth spurts, I noticed that they would gain a bit of weight before shooting up in height again. Throughout these transformations, I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid mentioning their weight, especially in a negative light. This decision stems from my own experiences and those of friends who’ve faced struggles with body image.
My friend Lily has fought with weight issues her entire life. She often shares how her parents used to comment on her size, placing her on diets from a young age. This led to a complicated relationship with self-worth, body image, and food choices for her.
While many parents believe they are helping by pointing out when their children are gaining weight, doing so can backfire. We all recognize the risks of childhood obesity and certainly want our kids to be healthy. However, criticizing a child’s body can lead to emotional and physical health issues down the road. Research published in the journal Eating and Weight Disorders indicates that women who remember negative comments about their weight from parents often struggle with body dissatisfaction later in life—even if they maintain a healthy weight as adults.
Children are particularly sensitive to the messages they receive. If a child hears that they are getting overweight or need to shed pounds, they may internalize that as something being fundamentally wrong with them. Their bodies are in constant flux, and they often feel powerless over these changes. Being told they need to address their weight can be confusing and disheartening.
It’s crucial to recognize that everyone’s body is unique, and some added weight doesn’t automatically signal poor health. There are plenty of slender individuals who are unhealthy and, conversely, many heavier individuals who are perfectly fit. For instance, my kids always gain a little weight before a growth spurt. Why stress over it? Our priority should be on cultivating healthy habits as a family rather than obsessing over societal standards regarding weight.
Instead of fixating on weight, let’s emphasize the importance of health. We can have discussions about nourishing our bodies with wholesome foods and practicing moderation with sugary treats. Teaching them to eat when hungry and stop before feeling overly full promotes healthy digestion. We should provide nutritious options at home and model sensible eating behaviors.
Instead of implying they need to exercise to lose weight, we can focus on the joy of movement and how great it feels to be active. Exercising is essential for keeping our muscles and bones strong. We can plan family outings that involve physical activity and make regular exercise a family priority.
All of this can be achieved without ever labeling a child as overweight or suggesting they need to lose weight. Such comments can be damaging and often linger for a lifetime.
Children’s bodies evolve continuously, and they may experience phases of being heavier or leaner, more or less muscular. They need to hear words of encouragement about how capable and amazing their bodies are, celebrating the fact that they can run, jump, swim, and play. When children come to appreciate their bodies as incredible machines, they are more likely to make healthy choices. They don’t need to feel inadequate; it’s not a personal failing if their bodies change. By modeling a lifestyle that promotes health, we can convey the right messages while preserving their self-esteem.
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In summary, it’s vital to foster a positive body image in children by focusing on health rather than weight. Encouraging healthy habits and celebrating their bodies will support their emotional well-being and help them make better choices as they grow.