Motherhood is undeniably tiring. Even after checking off a long list of tasks, there’s always an invisible mental checklist echoing in our minds, reminding us of everything we should be doing. One mom, Tara Mitchell, captured this sentiment perfectly when she saw her husband, Jake, dozing on the couch. She realized that while he enjoyed his nap, her mind was racing with countless things she had to manage.
In a humorous yet relatable post, Tara shared a snapshot of her husband napping peacefully. Inspired by this, she compiled a list of all the thoughts swirling in her mind that would need to be addressed before she could relax as he did. Unfortunately, by the time a mom gets close to the couch, her mental checklist has already expanded to include more tasks.
Tara aptly named her list, “Thoughts Moms Have After a Long Day of Work.” It included musings like, “This place is a disaster! Do we have enough snacks for tomorrow? I need to remind my son about honesty and that toy he ‘borrowed.’ I hope I can actually sleep tonight. Should I buy a sleep mask? Did I move the laundry to the dryer?”
The humor in her observations rings true for many women. We’re often caught in a cycle of thinking, worrying, and planning. My own mother keeps a notepad by her bed, ready to jot down thoughts that pop up at night, hoping it helps her drift back to sleep—though it rarely does.
Tara continued her list: “Did I send that email? Is it too late to sign my daughter up for soccer? Are the kids up to date on their vaccinations? How did the ceiling fan get so dusty? And what about that preschool we applied to?” The cycle of thoughts goes on and on, leaving us feeling like a nap is impossible—if our heads don’t explode first.
In contrast, Jake’s thoughts after work were simple: “I’m just going to take a quick nap.” Men often have the ability to switch off the mental chatter, which can be admirable, but it also makes us want to roll our eyes (maybe even cover their faces with a pillow—just a little).
Tara emphasizes that when she talks about the mental load, she doesn’t mean to criticize men; it’s not about competition. Instead, she points out, “I believe we’re wired differently, making it tougher for us to relax. There’s guilt when I think about resting while there’s laundry to fold or dishes to wash. Jake is incredibly supportive, but it’s just how my mind operates. I wish I could be more like him and let go of the to-do list, but I worry I’ll forget something crucial.”
This perspective highlights why moms occasionally need a break. “Sometimes, I just need a vacation from mom life,” Tara quipped, “but who would remember to buy more ramen noodles?”
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In summary, the unique challenges of motherhood often prevent women from enjoying the simple pleasure of a nap. While men may find it easier to disconnect, women are often burdened with an endless list of responsibilities that keep their minds racing. The disparity highlights a need for understanding and support in sharing the mental load.