I could see the uncertainty in her eyes for just a brief moment, but it hit me hard. Today is “Creatures and Costumes Day” at Jamie’s camp. While Jamie isn’t particularly fond of creatures, her creative spirit led her to craft an impressive “Space Cat” costume that truly shines. (Her fascination with cats has been unwavering since she could first babble.)
We arrived in a bit of a rush, which is never ideal for a mom like me who tends to be overly punctual. The delay was due to Jamie being so engrossed in her book during breakfast that she resisted getting dressed and applying sunscreen until we finally had to raise our voices. (Her love for reading rivals her passion for cats.)
The atmosphere was bright, noisy, and packed with people. To make matters worse, Jamie’s group was not in their usual place. My anxiety spiked. I know my child inside and out, and even before her autism spectrum disorder diagnosis this year, I was all too aware of how overwhelming situations like this could be for her.
Jamie struggles under bright sunlight, even with her favorite sunglasses. Crowds can easily overwhelm her, and loud noises tend to send her into a tailspin. She thrives on routine, and the change in location was not in the script for her day.
Thankfully, she didn’t have a meltdown, a testament to the progress she has made in therapy to manage her emotions. However, I could see the worry etched on her face. She started to withdraw, hunching over as if trying to disappear.
I reassured her that everything would be alright and promised to help her find her group, but my heart ached for her. I scanned the crowd, searching for a familiar face. “Sweetheart, do you see anyone you know?” I asked, but she was looking down, her eyes glistening with tears.
“No, Mommy! They’re not where they’re supposed to be,” she replied, her voice trembling.
Just then, a kind-looking young man approached, though he seemed a bit puzzled. “Hi there! I’m Jamie’s counselor. We’re meeting over by the basketball court today.”
Jamie moved past him, avoiding eye contact and oblivious to my attempt to plant a reassuring kiss on her head. In her quirky Space Cat costume, complete with fuzzy ears and summer-appropriate boots, she trudged toward the basketball court, looking as if she were on her way to an execution.
I noticed how he regarded her—like she was different. I recognized that look all too well; I’d felt it myself.
As an educator with nearly 15 years of experience working with children across the spectrum—those with various learning disabilities, mental health challenges, and other conditions—I’ve always made efforts to ensure every child feels loved, supported, and valued. Yet, upon becoming a parent to Jamie, I had to confront my own biases. Despite my dedication to all children, I realized that I sometimes viewed them through the lens of their differences.
When I encountered a child who was too loud or overwhelmed, I would think, “They have autism.” I cared for these children just as much, but I often forgot that they were also individuals with their own unique thoughts and emotions.
With Jamie, I frequently forget about her diagnosis. We laugh together over something silly her little brother does. She curls up on my lap, despite her height, and enjoys snuggling. I watch her play joyfully with neighborhood kids, and I cherish our quiet reading sessions on the couch. I remember how she bravely tackled big waves while on vacation, unafraid of their might. I comfort her when she worries about endangered species or admire her artistic talents as she creates beautiful artwork or shares clever jokes that leave us in stitches.
That counselor didn’t see the depth of Jamie’s character in that moment; he only saw a child who appeared anxious and out of place. But I wish he could see beyond that—because beneath that quirky exterior is a vibrant child with a big heart and a wonderfully unique mind, navigating the world in her own way. Her autism doesn’t define her; it simply guides us in understanding and appreciating her differences.
I hope that one day, he’ll recognize this too. The view from that perspective is truly breathtaking.
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Summary
In this heartfelt narrative, a mother reflects on her daughter Jamie’s experience at camp, highlighting the challenges of navigating social situations with autism. Through her journey, she emphasizes the importance of recognizing the individuality of children on the spectrum, encouraging a deeper understanding beyond just their diagnoses.