As I approach a significant birthday—my 40th—I find myself reflecting on the years gone by. It’s hard to believe that forty, once perceived as ancient, is just around the corner. I thought I would have everything sorted out by now, but the truth is, I still feel much like the awkward teenager I once was, albeit with a few more wrinkles and the occasional age spot mixed in with hormonal skin issues.
However, over the past nearly four decades, I’ve learned a thing or two about the importance of authenticity. I am gradually mastering the skill of not worrying about everything. This includes letting go of obsessions over diets and fretting about whether my kids finish their veggies. Life’s too short to be anything other than my true self. I can spot disingenuousness from afar, and that brings me to one of the most crucial lessons I’ve come to understand—not everyone has to like you.
I wish I could say I’ve completely conquered this idea, but I’m still navigating through it. Writing this feels like a personal reminder, a note on my mirror that reads: “NOTE TO SELF: Not everyone is going to like you.”
ANOTHER NOTE TO SELF:
Not everyone needs to like you.
Some individuals might not appreciate your honesty or assertiveness. They may label you as too opinionated simply because you dare to discuss topics like politics and religion—subjects often deemed off-limits in “polite” society. That’s perfectly fine; your voice matters. Standing up for justice, love, and compassion is essential, even if it ruffles a few feathers. Keep advocating, keep speaking out.
Then there are those who might not connect with you because you’re perceived as too loud, too expressive, or too much in any direction. Those aren’t your crowd.
Others may dismiss you based on your race, beliefs, or political views. Some may find you too liberal, while others may think you aren’t liberal enough. You might be too devout for some and not devout enough for others. And then there are those who simply don’t find you appealing for no particular reason. That’s okay too; not everyone needs to be everyone’s cup of tea—unless, of course, you’re Nutella.
This lesson is a difficult one for a self-identified people pleaser like me. I long for acceptance, so when I face rejection—like being overlooked for a social gathering or seeing friends hanging out without me online—it stings. But the reality is, not everyone will connect with everyone. It’s simple, yet profoundly complex.
When I think about my hopes for my children, it’s not about their popularity or success. I want them to find happiness and comfort in their own skin. I wish for them to embrace their true selves and cultivate self-love. If I can wish that for them, why shouldn’t I aspire to the same for myself?
So, even though it’s a tough pill to swallow—and while part of me would love to be universally adored like a jar of Nutella—I must accept that I can’t please everyone. Not everyone will like me, and that is perfectly acceptable.
Now, where did I put that jar of Nutella?
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Summary:
As I turn 40, I am learning that not everyone needs to like me. Embracing authenticity and letting go of the need for universal acceptance is a vital lesson. It’s okay to be myself, even if it means some disapproval from others. Ultimately, self-love and acceptance are what truly matter in this journey.