In my college years, I was a member of the university’s swim team. We often leaned on a motto during our most challenging practices: “hard core.” This phrase embodied the idea of maintaining both physical and emotional strength amid adversity. It signified resilience, competence, and a sense of independence, traits that were widely admired in the competitive atmosphere of collegiate athletics.
However, I’ve come to realize that I don’t naturally embody this “hard core” mentality. I have a sensitive disposition; I often find myself deeply affected by the emotions and struggles of others. I cry easily and tend to overthink past interactions. In short, I’m quite soft-hearted.
Throughout my childhood and into my early adult life, I attempted to suppress this softness. Society often seemed to send the message that I needed to toughen up and develop a thicker skin. I tried to embrace an attitude of indifference, pushing away my natural tendencies. But in the end, I discovered that I’m not indifferent—I just care deeply, and I don’t want to change that.
I want my children to retain their softness as well. Unfortunately, we live in a world that often encourages the opposite. It’s easier to adopt a hard exterior, to view life in black and white, and to dismiss feelings that don’t directly impact us. This hardened perspective can shield one from vulnerability, but it also limits our capacity for empathy and compassion.
Recently, my son, Alex, asked me why people with extra money don’t just help the homeless by providing them shelter and food. I smiled and affirmed his kind-hearted nature. I chose not to explain the complexities of societal issues or the arguments surrounding economic systems. Instead, I wanted him to go to bed believing that his compassionate heart is essential in this world.
Every day, our children receive messages urging them to toughen up and build emotional barriers. But I believe that the world doesn’t need more toughness; it craves tenderness and understanding. We should foster connections, not walls. Our children should be encouraged to maintain their natural kindness and empathy.
So I will allow my children to express their emotions freely. I will teach them to be kinder than necessary, reminding them that, in a world that often pushes for hardness, the most powerful thing they can do is to stay soft.
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In summary, while the world may often feel harsh, we can choose to nurture our children’s innate softness. By encouraging empathy, kindness, and emotional openness, we cultivate a generation that is more compassionate and connected.