Recently, while catching up with an old colleague, she jokingly remarked, “Wow, your little one sure knows how to fill the silence, doesn’t she?” I sighed inwardly. Here we go again. This isn’t the first time I’ve encountered such comments about my daughter, Amelia. I’ve heard variations like, “Does she ever slow down?” and “Wow, she’s quite the chatterbox!” It’s as if people expect a three-year-old to conform to some quiet, subdued standard.
But here’s the truth: Amelia is three years old. She’s vibrant, curious, and yes—talkative. Like many children at her age, she’s eager to express herself, especially when I’m preoccupied, like when I’m on the phone. Of course, I sometimes wish for just a moment of peace, a chance to converse without interruptions. But I refuse to sacrifice my daughter’s voice for my convenience. Not now. Not ever.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being expressive. There’s nothing wrong with her enthusiasm or curiosity. Her loudness and excitement are simply part of her development, and that’s perfectly okay. She knows the boundaries—she doesn’t shout in quiet places or interrupt movies. But suggesting that she should stifle her joy simply because I’m busy? Not a chance. That notion is not only rude; it’s harmful.
If she hears “be quiet” or similar messages too often, she may internalize the idea that she’s a nuisance or that her thoughts don’t matter. I know this from experience. I grew up in a nurturing home, but even then, I sensed that my energy was often too much. I was told to calm down or quiet down, which eventually led me to suppress my own voice.
I’ve learned that I didn’t need to “shut up,” and neither does my daughter. Your voice matters. Your thoughts matter. Just like Amelia’s imaginative stories about unicorns and space travel are significant, so are yours.
So to you, my younger self, and my spirited daughter: Be fearless and unashamedly vocal. You’re not a bother; you’re vibrant, passionate, and exactly who you need to be. Celebrate that.
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In summary, it’s essential to embrace and encourage self-expression in children. They should never feel pressured to suppress their voices or personalities. Whether it’s in a home or any other space, every word they utter is valuable and deserves to be heard.