Parenting can be an unpredictable journey filled with surprises, and I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. Just the other day, my older sister, Lisa, called to invite us over for her daughter’s birthday celebration. When she mentioned the date, I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Oh, I’m triple booked that day,” I exclaimed, mimicking the same frantic tone that so many parents seem to adopt these days.
“Our eldest is off on a school trip to the beach, our youngest has a playdate scheduled, and if it rains, we’ll be at a soccer game instead. Oh, and let’s not forget about the dance recital we have to squeeze in!” I rattled on, half-joking. “But hey, maybe we can swing by if we can fit it in somewhere.”
This chaotic spring weekend routine has become our norm. My digital calendar looks like a kaleidoscope of color-coded commitments, and just trying to decipher it is like staring at an optical illusion that makes you question reality. It’s clear that the elevator is a much better option than attempting to navigate those torturous stairs.
Meanwhile, Lisa and her husband were both available and excited for the celebration. “Can’t wait to see you!” she said, clearly looking forward to it. But when I shared my list of conflicts, she chuckled and said, “You sound just like your brother now. Weren’t you the one who said you’d never live like this?”
Touché, Lisa. Of course, I said that. Many of us parents have made that initial error—overlooking the wisdom of those who’ve walked the path before us, insisting that our circumstances would be different.
See, my brother had kids nearly a decade before I did, allowing me to observe his parenting journey from the sidelines. Time after time, my partner and I rolled our eyes, thinking, “No way, that won’t be us.”
Co-sleeping? Not a chance. Prioritizing family time over couple time? Absolutely not. Our kids will never talk back, dress inappropriately, or misbehave. We vowed we would never fall into the trap of being an over-scheduled family with a calendar that could induce a seizure.
Yet, here we are. Our nine-year-old still creeps into our bed every night, while his sister insists on dressing like a teenager. We’ve experienced the same behaviors we once judged so harshly, and those precious moments of couple time have vanished, along with our peace and quiet.
Despite my skepticism and the countless times I’ve rolled my eyes at others, my life has morphed into that impossible staircase. My children want to explore, socialize, and play sports, all of which makes us run around in a frenzy. Who knew these little beings, who seemingly sprang from my very being, would have their own unique desires and personalities?
Well, my sister knew. My brother knew. And every seasoned parent we ignored knew as well. They tried to warn us, but we stubbornly blocked out their advice, thinking, “Nah, that will never be us.”
Now, everything those parents predicted has come true, and we still have many stages ahead. So, here I am, ready to share advice with the next generation of parents—advice you might very well disregard, which I completely understand. But here it is nonetheless: never say never, embrace the chaos, and accept that one day, this might indeed be you. Because no matter what you think now, you are not alone in this journey, and somehow you will navigate through it too.
As my brother’s kids are now teenagers, nearing the end of their high school journey, we chuckle at the stories he shares about their antics—breaking curfews and misadventures. But when he tells me about their upcoming Caribbean getaway—one of those rare trips they can finally take—we can only smile and nod, thinking, “Oh yeah, that will definitely be us.”
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Summary
Parenting often leads us down unexpected paths that challenge our preconceptions. Despite our best intentions to avoid the pitfalls of over-scheduling and chaos, many of us find ourselves living the very lives we once deemed impossible. Embracing the unpredictability of parenting can lead to growth and understanding as we navigate this shared journey together.
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