As a child, I was a firm believer in the fantastical tales spun by my parents. The notion that a jolly figure in a red suit would visit my home to deliver presents seemed perfectly reasonable, even against the backdrop of my family’s diverse traditions. I bought into the idea that if I left my lost tooth under my pillow, a fairy would magically replace it with money. It all made sense, after all, and I thought my childhood innocence would carry on forever.
So, when I posed my favorite question to my mother, expecting a sincere response, I was utterly convinced by her answer: “Sweetheart, I don’t have a favorite. I love you all the same!” How beautifully reassuring, I thought! My older brother, the only son, and my younger sister, the baby of the family, were undoubtedly special, but here was my mother proclaiming equal love for us all. It felt like a fairy tale come to life.
Fast forward thirty years, and my perspective has shifted dramatically. After the arrival of my first child, I could hardly believe how much love I felt. But then reality set in: I found myself navigating the tumultuous waters of parenthood. The chaos of having two toddlers under two years old brought a reality check that was impossible to ignore.
Here’s the hard truth: my mother lied. Your mother likely did too. Deep down, every parent has a favorite child at different times, even if they won’t admit it. It’s a revelation that can be hard to digest. I’m not suggesting that any child is unloved or mistreated, far from it. Yet, there are moments—often fleeting—when one child’s behavior can make them more likable than the other.
As a former middle-school teacher, I can tell you that all kids can test your patience. When one child is running circles around the house, resisting diaper changes, while the other is sitting quietly (albeit picking their nose), it’s easy to feel a stronger bond with the latter. But then the tables turn: the quiet one suddenly refuses to eat and screams for chicken nuggets, and guess what? The diaper-wrestler becomes the favorite for that moment.
Despite these fluctuations in preference, one constant remains: the love I feel for my children is immense and unconditional. There are moments that make my heart swell with pride and joy, reminding me of the depth of my love for them. When they hug me or say sweet things, it’s as if they are enveloped in a warm glow of affection. In those instances, there seems to be no favorite child; love encompasses all.
However, parenting is not a constant stream of Instagram-perfect moments. Acknowledging that reality can be an awakening. It has made me appreciate my parents more, knowing that they, too, navigated the complexities of favoritism and love.
So, when my little ones ask me if I have a favorite, I’ll tell them what my mother told me: that I love them all equally. And then, to be safe, I’ll delete this post to keep my little secret safe.
For more insights on parenting and fertility journeys, you can check out this other blog post on intracervical insemination. If you’re interested in learning about insemination options, Make a Mom is an excellent resource. Additionally, if you’re keen on understanding fertility trends, Science Daily offers valuable information.
In summary, while every parent may try to assure their children that favoritism doesn’t exist, the reality is often more nuanced. Love may not always be equal, but it is profound and ever-present.