By Dr. Emily Carter
When my daughter Emma began her preschool journey last year, we initially attributed her behavior to a typical “strong-willed child.” She often had meltdowns when things didn’t go her way, disrupted circle time, and required constant guidance from her teacher. We recognized her intelligence, knowing she had already grasped many concepts outside of school, so we thought she was simply bored.
As time passed, we began to observe more concerning signs. Emma struggled to manage her emotions, with minor incidents triggering prolonged crying spells. She would make repetitive sounds, seemingly unable to control when to start or stop. Forming friendships proved challenging for her.
Recently, she was diagnosed with level 1 autism spectrum disorder, akin to Asperger’s syndrome. Emma excels academically but faces significant hurdles in social and emotional interactions. If you’ve ever encountered a preschooler, you understand that emotional regulation is not typically their strong suit.
Before her diagnosis, I was relatively uninformed about autism. Once we received the news, I was determined to educate myself. I devoured articles and engaged in online forums to discover how to support Emma in navigating her educational environment. Unfortunately, I quickly learned that securing the necessary resources in our underfunded school district would be a monumental task.
What shocked me most was the backlash I encountered online. Parents expressed frustration about children like Emma being present in their classrooms, feeling wronged by what they perceived as unfair advantages. They criticized large class sizes, insisting that rather than providing individualized support for children with special needs, the classes should be divided to ensure every child benefits equally. They overlooked the fact that children like Emma require specialized attention to thrive, which would inevitably draw from any teacher’s instructional time.
Moreover, it’s disheartening to see these parents fail to recognize the benefits of inclusion. Having diverse peers can enrich the educational experience for all children, fostering empathy and understanding. The school environment is primarily tailored to benefit neurotypical children, who can gain invaluable insights by interacting with classmates who may think and act differently.
I often wish I could impress upon these parents the notion that when you’re accustomed to privilege, the introduction of equality may feel like a loss. One comment struck me deeply: “They should be with their kind in their own class.” This sentiment came from a father who, understandably, was upset by a classroom incident involving a child with special needs. He believed his son had the right to learn without disruptions.
Yet, he misses a crucial point: every child, including those with special needs, deserves a fair and equal education. This fairness cannot be achieved through segregation. Sheltering your child from those who are different does not enhance their educational experience. Instead, they should learn to understand and appreciate diversity.
Before you worry about how your child might be adversely affected, consider what you would want if your child needed special education services. Reflect on the fact that during the 12 years your child attends public school, your involvement will largely consist of morning wake-ups and evening homework reminders.
Many children with special needs are left behind in the public school system, and those who do receive the necessary services often require costly advocates and legal support just to have a shot at the same educational opportunities that your child receives automatically in a disadvantaged district.
If you genuinely believe your child is suffering due to the presence of children with special needs, channel that frustration into positive action. Advocate for better funding in your community’s schools. Instead of fostering inequality by seeking to isolate others, recognize that an education that includes everyone benefits society as a whole. You can support your child without perpetuating discrimination against mine, and others like Emma.
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In summary, every child should experience a diverse educational environment that promotes empathy and understanding, rather than a sheltered one that fosters division. Advocating for inclusivity not only enhances the learning experience for children with special needs but enriches the lives of all students.