As Mother’s Day approaches, fathers and children across the nation are gearing up for the grand quest of finding the perfect gift for mom. From pancake mixes and fresh berries to gourmet coffee, they’re ready to whip up a delightful breakfast in bed. Many will wash her car, treat her to dinner, or surprise her with tickets to that concert she’s been eagerly anticipating. Heartfelt cards will be exchanged, little ones will trace their hands for crafts, and teenagers may muster the courage for a genuine hug and a simple “Happy Mother’s Day.”
But let’s get real: none of these gifts or gestures truly reflect what mothers want on this special day. Trust me, they’re not what I’m after, either.
I don’t crave solitude with a box of chocolates, the remote control, or a serene house. Likewise, I don’t long to be treated like royalty all day, pampered as if I’ve just emerged from a life-altering experience.
What I truly desire for Mother’s Day is straightforward: I want to hear that I’m doing this whole motherhood thing right. Just that. It’s a simple yet profound validation that I need. And I certainly don’t want to be reminded of it through a bouquet of flowers, a scented candle, or a slightly burnt omelet served in bed on Sunday morning.
Remember those early weeks of motherhood? The sleepless nights filled with cries and the sight of a scrunched-up baby face? When did you first realize you were on the right track? For me, it was the day my baby looked up and smiled at me. That single grin communicated everything I needed to know.
Over the years, I’ve often found myself forgetting the joy of those smiles and the reassurance they bring. So, please, remind me that I’m doing it right—not just on Mother’s Day, but on the days when I need it most. On the days when I feel overwhelmed by the societal pressures of parenting, I need to hear, “You’re doing it right.”
When my patience is running low and my children’s demands leave me feeling anxious and panicked, I need to hear, “You’re doing it right.” When I doubt whether my advice to my teenagers about life and love is actually making sense, I need to hear, “You’re doing it right.”
After flipping what feels like my millionth pancake, packing countless lunches, and serving yet another spaghetti dinner, I need reassurance that I’m doing a good job. When I collapse into bed, burdened by regret over my responses, I need to hear, “You’re doing it right.” When I look at the chaos of dirty dishes and laundry and only see my failures, I need to hear, “You’re doing it right.”
When I feel as though I have nothing left to give, when the weight of raising boys into men feels unbearable, I just want to hear, “You’re doing it right.”
I think I speak for many mothers when I say that telling me I’m doing it right on one day out of the year, prompted by a calendar and commercialism, isn’t enough. I need to hear it more often. This Sunday, if you’re fortunate enough to still have your mother around, pick up the phone and say, “You did it right.”
Reach out to that single or divorced mom you know, the one who often feels inadequate, and tell her, “You’re doing it right.” The next time you see a young mom in the grocery store, juggling a toddler and an infant while wearing her exhaustion, offer her a kind pat on the shoulder and say, “You’re doing it right.”
When you’re chatting with another mom of teenagers who’s grappling with the challenges of this age, remind one another, “You’re doing it right.” To the mom of a child with special needs, who is not only a mom but also a hero, please tell her, “You’re doing it right.” And to that friend anticipating her first baby, don’t dwell on the challenges ahead; instead, hug her and say, “You’re gonna do it right.”
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there who struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Here’s your affirmation from me: “YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT.”
For more insights into motherhood, you can check out one of our other blog posts here.
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In summary, as Mother’s Day approaches, let’s focus on giving mothers what they truly need: affirmation, support, and the simple reminder that they’re doing a great job.
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