It was a Friday morning when I found myself with a rare day off. My partner was heading to her job at our children’s school, taking our two older kids along. I was tasked with looking after our toddler. As we discussed our plans for the day, she mentioned that our daughter, Lily, had gymnastics lessons right after school.
“You’ll need to handle dinner tonight,” she said.
I let out an exaggerated sigh, a reaction I often have when the topic of dinner comes up. It’s not that I lack the ability; I can certainly cook. It’s just that I find the whole process intimidating. More often than not, I dive into cooking only to feel overwhelmed and underprepared. This usually leads to mediocre results, and while they’re not terrible, I hardly consider it a strong suit of mine.
Before I met my partner, I survived on a diet of frozen meals, cereal, and soda. I was the typical single guy—living in a disheveled space, with unkempt hair and questionable hygiene. Reflecting on that time, I realize how much my partner has helped me grow into a better version of myself. Yet, when it comes to cooking, I still find myself battling those old insecurities.
“Why don’t we just order pizza instead?” I suggested, a routine fallback.
She was busy in the kitchen, scrolling through recipes on an iPad. Dressed in her usual work attire, she turned to me with a look that conveyed all the frustration of a working mother on a time crunch. It was the same expression she gives when our children dawdle in the mornings.
“Come on, you can make dinner,” she said, her tone firm yet calm. It was a challenge I didn’t realize I was avoiding, much like our kids do when they don’t want to get ready.
“It’s really easy. Just follow the recipe,” she urged.
“What if I mess it up?” I asked, my voice tinged with doubt.
She chuckled, as if sharing an inside joke. “I mess up cooking all the time. Don’t stress. You have a master’s degree. You can make chicken stir-fry.”
I recalled a quote from Louis C.K. about fathers having skills they never use at home. He’s right; I handle complex tasks daily as a physician. I manage a busy clinic and write articles for various publications. So why should making dinner be so daunting? Yet, the fear of mismeasuring salt or missing a crucial step loomed large in my mind.
Deep down, I knew I could cook. My reluctance stemmed from outdated ideas about gender roles. I’ve often written about the importance of equality in relationships, yet I still grapple with internalized beliefs that cooking is primarily a woman’s responsibility. My partner has a knack for calling me out on my excuses, and I appreciate that about her.
Taking a deep breath, I finally spoke words many men should say more often: “You’re right. I can cook dinner.”
She gave me a knowing look, as if to say, “I’m glad you’ve realized that.” Then she walked me through the recipe, explained how to use the slow cooker, and rushed out the door for work.
Determined to rise to the occasion, I started preparing the meal earlier than necessary. I handed the toddler a snack and an iPad to keep her occupied while I focused. I even watched a few online tutorials on how to chop vegetables without crying. The internet is a treasure trove of information, making it easy to find answers for even the simplest cooking queries.
As the meal simmered, I thought about my partner’s words: “You can make dinner.” What she was really telling me was that it was time for me to step up and share responsibilities. After nearly 13 years together, we’ve had various roles—sometimes I’ve been a stay-at-home dad, and other times the primary breadwinner. Despite this, I had clung to the notion that I could dodge cooking by complaining about it. But with her working and me free on Fridays, it was clear that expectations needed to shift.
Life is full of transitions, and couples often have to adjust how they share responsibilities. In today’s world, women can be the primary earners while men can handle domestic tasks. Sometimes those roles can flip, leading to challenges, but it is essential to adapt.
When my partner returned after gymnastics, she found a set table and our kids promptly informed me that dinner tasted a bit off. I’ll admit, I may have overdone the oregano. But it was warm and edible, and afterward, we tackled the dishes together.
“You’ll need to cook again next Friday,” she said as I nodded, “I know. I can handle it.”
This experience has reminded me that cooking is not just about food; it’s about growing together as a family and challenging outdated norms. For anyone interested in exploring home insemination, check out this informative post or visit Make a Mom for guidance on related topics. Also, March of Dimes offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, tackling new responsibilities, like cooking, can be daunting but ultimately rewarding. Embracing change helps us grow as partners and parents, leading to a more balanced family life.