Yesterday was one of those chaotic days that seems to stretch forever. The clock was ticking toward 5 p.m., and here I was, knee-deep in a work project. My 3-year-old, Emma, was having one of those days where she needed constant attention. Our two dogs were in full-on play mode, and the house looked like a tornado had hit it. As I walked from the living room to the kitchen, I could almost hear dramatic Western music playing in my head, with tumbleweeds of dog fur rolling past. The laundry—oh, the laundry—still sat untouched in the corner, and a collection of half-finished mugs of coffee cluttered the counter.
When my partner returned home, he whisked the dogs away for a walk, giving me a rare moment of quiet to finish my work. As they were still out, I decided to indulge in a hot bath, something I rarely do. I created a luxurious, bubbly haven (using dish soap, naturally, because who has bubble bath on hand?) and was just about to step in when Emma burst in, back from what felt like a record-setting walk.
“Are you taking a bath, Mommy?” she asked.
“Yes, I am,” I replied.
She glanced over and spotted my glass of red wine. “Are you having wine?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want one of my bath toys?” she offered.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Who could be annoyed with such a sweet gesture? So, she stayed right there and played with her toys while I relaxed, sipping my wine and washing away the day’s chaos.
We all have days that feel like a juggling act, and yesterday, as I sat there in my pajamas with unbrushed teeth at 5 p.m., I decided to let go of the pressure. I reminded myself: “Toss it in the forget-it bucket.” My partner often reminds me that no one can do it all, and he’s absolutely right. Sometimes, you don’t even have to do half of it.
Laundry? It only gets done when I’ve run out of clean jeans or decent underwear. Forget it. Cleaning? My partner jokes that “Nothing cleans like company!” because that’s usually when we tackle the mess. Forget it. Emma is still going through her phase of being terrified of strangers, and while I feel judged by others, I’ve decided to stop making excuses. Forget it.
Our dog, Max, has taken to digging up the backyard, and no amount of deterrence seems to stop him. Forget it. I’ve managed to kill every plant in our home due to sheer neglect; unless you’re a toddler demanding snacks or a dog needing to be fed, I can’t manage your wellbeing. Forget it. I watched bananas wither away on the counter, and I still didn’t make banana bread. Forget it.
We’re also trying to get Emma to sleep in her bed because she’s suddenly developed a fear of the dark. I’ve crawled out of her room more times than I’d like to admit. Forget it. I owe about 50 texts and emails to friends and family, and I have no idea where to even start. Forget it.
And yes, I know someone will read this and think, “You think that’s tough, try having…” Well, you know what? Forget it!
The reality is that while we are all navigating this journey together, it’s also a solitary experience. So, decide what to toss into your forget-it bucket. It’s yours to fill as you see fit! Some may prioritize having a spotless house, but as long as you’re not living in squalor, you’re golden in my book!
Everyone has their own list of priorities. Remember to focus on yours rather than comparing to others. And maybe, just maybe, consider tossing all those “How to…” articles into the bucket as well. Instead, start a dialogue in your head that begins with “How I…”
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Summary:
In the whirlwind of motherhood, it’s essential to recognize when to let go of expectations and prioritize your well-being. Embrace the chaos, focus on what truly matters, and don’t hesitate to toss unnecessary pressures into your forget-it bucket. Always remember, everyone has their own journey, so keep your attention on yours and allow yourself the grace to just be.