Every semester, like clockwork, my children bring home a large, sealed envelope containing their report cards. It’s the only occasion I remember to rummage through their backpacks. I can’t resist tearing it open, even if it means risking a paper cut or two. My eyes race past the initial pages until I reach the final one, the one that holds the teacher’s comments. This is the goldmine of information I seek.
I savor those paragraphs, looking for insights into how my children engage with their classmates, how they treat their educators, and, most importantly, the kind of individuals they are becoming. The letter grades? They don’t hold much weight for me. What truly matters is their character development.
Now that my eldest son is in fourth grade, my spouse and I have spent countless hours in parent-teacher conferences. Each time, I’m eager to bypass the academic details and get to the heart of the matter. I’m much more interested in whether they show kindness and respect than in how quickly they can read or solve complex math problems. Are they friendly? Do they include others in their play during recess? Do they celebrate their peers’ achievements and extend a helping hand to those in need?
Naturally, I want to ensure my children are on track academically. I value their education and want to know if they face challenges that might require additional support. I want them to understand the importance of hard work and to gain knowledge across various subjects. However, I firmly believe that good grades do not necessarily correlate with genuine learning or character. Assessment scores can serve as benchmarks, but they fail to capture the full picture.
Even if they did, my priorities would still remain consistent. I am primarily interested in whether my sons are compassionate and considerate individuals, rather than simply focused on achieving A’s. After all, I am nurturing human beings, not just students.
Some may label me as lax, but I don’t spend hours rehearsing math problems or tracking their reading logs. When they return home from school, my questions revolve around their interactions: “Who did you show kindness to today?” and “Who was kind to you?” These are the moments that matter most to me. Did they bring joy to someone? Did they uplift another person? These actions are what define a truly good person, beyond just being an excellent student.
I don’t want my children to lag academically, and if they encounter difficulties, I want to be informed so we can collaborate with their teachers to help them. However, I am comfortable embracing an average academic standing in terms of grades, honor roll, and standardized tests. It’s the other qualities—friendship, teamwork, kindness, and generosity—that I hope they cultivate and excel in.
Before my son began first grade, I penned him a letter sharing three important truths. First, I told him that superheroes exist not just in stories, but also in the form of the teachers guiding him daily. Second, I reminded him that when challenges arise—and they will—taking deep breaths can help ease the burden. The third, and most crucial secret? “You are the magic,” I wrote. “Be the best version of yourself.”
By embodying kindness, bravery, and diligence, he can share that magic with the world. So yes, I encourage my kids to study and strive for success in school. Yet, what I truly care about is whether they are spreading kindness and generosity throughout their classroom and their lives. If they are doing that, they’ve made it onto my personal honor roll.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, if you’re looking for reliable information on fertility and parenting, Science Daily is an excellent resource. And for those interested in boosting fertility, Make a Mom has valuable supplements to consider.
In summary, while academic performance is important, the development of character and kindness in children holds far more significance. My focus is on raising compassionate individuals who genuinely care for others, rather than solely high achievers in the realm of grades.