As a pediatrician and a parent, I can attest that caring for my son’s hair often feels like an uphill battle. At just three years old, he has a strong aversion to having his hair brushed or combed. His hair is curly, with some kinks that require daily attention, but let’s be honest—daily maintenance quickly turns into weekly escapades because of his protests. The struggle is real, especially during winter when he can simply wear a hat. And honestly, he rocks that messy bedhead look.
He had his first haircut at two and a half years old. Until he was about 18 months, he had very little hair, but then, out of nowhere, a fluffy mop appeared. I held off on cutting it longer than I should have because I was enamored with the idea of my little boy having long hair. Back then, it was mostly straight with just a hint of curl at the ends. However, the straight parts were prone to tangling, and eventually, I had to concede after too many tearful battles with knots.
Choosing the Right Salon
Choosing the right salon took considerable thought. My friend insisted I just take him to a barbershop, but I knew that wouldn’t work. His mixed heritage—his father is Caucasian and I’m African American—means he has soft hair that requires special care. I needed a stylist experienced with diverse textures and one that could handle a child who was likely to be wiggly and loud.
After researching various kiddie salons, I finally found one in New York City’s West Village that caught my eye. They had adorable car and boat-shaped chairs, DVD players for entertainment, and they even blew bubbles to keep kids engaged. My son is a huge fan of bubbles, so I thought this was the perfect spot.
However, he cried the entire time during the haircut. Thankfully, the stylist was patient and guided me on how to hold him while an assistant entertained him with bubbles and a show. I recorded the experience to share with his dad and post on social media, which only prompted more tears. I was warned that once I started cutting his hair, I’d have to keep up with regular trims, but I asked for a style that would look good as it grew out. There’s no way I’m signing up for more of this than necessary.
Maintenance Challenges
Most of the maintenance happens during bath time, where detangling is more manageable with wet hair. However, by the time we get to washing, my son is already in a foul mood because I’ve interrupted his playtime. He screams as I shampoo his hair, and more tears flow when it’s time for conditioner and combing out the tangles.
For a long time, I relied on a wide-tooth comb, which took too long with a toddler in distress. Now, I’ve switched to the Wet Brush, which has saved my sanity even though he still screams through the process. Applying leave-in conditioner is another battle, but it’s necessary for preventing tangles.
I consider myself fortunate that his hair is soft and generally manageable. My own hair is quite coarse—I remember the battles my mother faced while combing it, and it seems I’m getting my just desserts now. One lesson I’ve learned is that hair products can be lifesavers. It takes time and experimentation to find what works best for him. I quickly discovered that regular baby shampoo wasn’t effective; his hair doesn’t get greasy, so less frequent washing works for us. Thank goodness for leave-in conditioner; it definitely helps maintain some semblance of peace.
I hope that one day he’ll grow out of his aversion to hair care, but until that day comes, I’ll keep navigating the challenges. I look forward to the time when he can take charge of his own hair—hopefully, that day arrives soon.
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Summary
Caring for a mixed heritage child’s hair can be challenging, especially when they resist grooming. Finding the right products and strategies, like using a Wet Brush and leave-in conditioner, can help ease the process. Ultimately, patience and experimenting with hair care routines are key to managing the unique needs of a mixed child’s hair.