I’m a stickler for cleanliness and prefer tidy spaces devoid of clutter. I embrace minimalism—until I step into a shoe store, of course. Having too much stuff around me can be overwhelming, and my children are well aware that if they don’t pick up after themselves, I might take matters into my own hands. This has occasionally led to some unfortunate outcomes, like when I had to toss out a bag of candy that had been left out for days despite my reminders. I often wish I could overlook the chaos—the smudges on the fridge or the sink piled high with dirty dishes—but I struggle to embrace that mindset. However, I have one significant exception: my kids’ rooms.
Leo’s Creative Chaos
The other day, I stepped into my son Leo’s room and was immediately struck by the sight of six beakers filled with mysterious potions he had created months ago, one of which had something growing on it. Gross? Perhaps. But Leo insisted, “Please don’t touch it; this is exactly what it’s supposed to do.” I couldn’t help but admire his enthusiasm, so I left it alone. His solar flower happily sways in the sunlight next to his solar cars, while his Legos lounge in a messy pile. The clutter on his side table—books and beloved pens—creates a perfect environment for creativity and adventure. I even choose to ignore the dead dandelions in an empty vase, as Leo believes they are wishes waiting to come true.
Mia’s Treasure Trove
Meanwhile, my daughter Mia’s room is a treasure trove of her unique creations. Her rock collection proudly sits on display, while bottles of perfume line her desk. I wouldn’t dare disturb the four favorite baby blankets she uses to wrap our dog every night. When I peek in to give her a goodnight kiss, I often find our dog snuggled up like a taco on the edge of her bed, while Mia reads or draws. Jewelry hangs from a gold elephant I bought her, and her baby photos adorn the walls. A fairy house decorated with acorns and bits of fabric sits in the corner, and her homemade bookmarks are scattered around, spilling out of drawers. She could definitely use more storage to house her artistic endeavors.
Jake’s Workshop
In the corner of my eldest son Jake’s room, I find him working on his bike, tools scattered about and music playing softly in the background. His nightstand is cluttered with plastic baggies of elastics he wears at night, loose change, and a Matchbox car still in its box from his aunt. His desk is a jumble of phone chargers, hall passes, and ski clothes draped over a chair. Every electronic device he owns still has its box, stacked neatly on his dresser beside a few trophies.
Accepting the Mess
I used to wish my kids would keep their rooms cleaner, and while I can’t say I love the mess, I’ve come to accept it. I can always close the door and ignore the chaos or take a moment to step inside and see their world. I recall my own childhood, the joy of displaying new toys or treasures like shells for everyone to see. Children don’t see their belongings as clutter; they view them as expressions of their lives and interests. They know they’ll return to their toys soon, and they prefer to keep them where they can find them.
Of course, there have been moments when I’ve conducted a “Mom Clean” with a garbage bag, and I’ve had to remind them to clear out the junk from under their beds. We tackle their closets a few times a year together, but I don’t expect them to maintain a tidy space daily. I don’t stress if their beds aren’t made. What fills me with joy is discovering sweet notes they’ve written to each other, unfinished puzzles on the floor, or containers of slime created during their playtime. They are growing so quickly, and these little moments remind me that they are still mine for a little while longer.
Creating a Comfortable Space
Just because I might hesitate to sleep in their rooms doesn’t mean they feel the same way. What matters is that they feel comfortable and at home. If that comfort ever fades, they’ll know how to address it themselves. Besides, I have the rest of the house just how I like it; their rooms belong to them.
Further Reading
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Conclusion
In summary, while I value cleanliness, I recognize that my children’s messy rooms are a reflection of their creativity and individuality. I’ve learned to embrace their unique spaces and the memories created within them, knowing that this phase of their lives will pass all too quickly.