In today’s parenting landscape, a common mantra seems to be: “Just don’t be a jerk.” While this approach is well-intentioned, it falls remarkably short of what we should aspire for our children. In a society rife with discrimination and negativity, it’s simply not enough to refrain from being unkind. We must encourage our kids to actively engage in doing good.
My husband and I have often found ourselves navigating discussions about inappropriate behavior, whether it’s something that occurs at school, a scene from a movie, or even actions taken by public figures. Like many parents, we strive to turn these moments into valuable lessons for our children. Often, they can easily identify unfairness or meanness. However, the more crucial lesson is that it’s not sufficient to simply avoid being the mean kid on the playground. We need to instill in them the courage to confront that behavior directly, to support those who are being targeted, and to seek assistance when necessary.
A recent episode of the classic show The Wonder Years featured Kevin Arnold participating in a school walkout to protest the Vietnam War. When discussing it with my son, he asked, “Why would they be punished?” I explained, “They were breaking school rules. Standing up for your beliefs often has consequences.” This opened the door to discussing how challenging it can be to speak out against wrongdoing, whether that means addressing a friend’s poor behavior or telling an adult that their actions are unacceptable.
I’ve always been a person who prefers harmony over conflict, but I’ve learned that sometimes doing what is right requires stepping out of that comfort zone. Often, we need to tell ourselves that being “nice” isn’t enough; sometimes we must act to ensure that kindness prevails over complacency.
Recently, my son and I had plans to enjoy dinner and a movie when news broke about protests at O’Hare International Airport in response to a travel ban that impacted families like ours. I proposed, “We can still go to a movie, or we can join the protest. It’s important to let our voices be heard against this injustice.” After discussing the importance of not just avoiding being a jerk, but standing up for what is right, he chose to go to O’Hare with me.
It’s disheartening to see many parents resorting to the “just don’t be an asshole” approach, as it often leads to inaction in the face of real issues. We must teach our children that it’s not enough to simply refrain from being the bully; we need to empower them to challenge unacceptable behavior actively.
Standing up against injustice doesn’t mean being aggressive or confrontational. As a firm believer in nonviolence, I maintain that most conflicts can be resolved without hostility. However, being a good human occasionally requires us to engage and advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves. It means using our voices to uplift others and to take decisive action when we see unfairness.
While it may seem that negativity dominates the world, I firmly believe that there are far more compassionate and kind individuals out there than those who spread hate. However, simply being a good person is no longer sufficient; we must embody our values and take action.
This shift in perspective is essential for our children’s growth. The time has come to move beyond the “don’t be an asshole” mindset. We must embrace the responsibility to care for one another actively. For more insights on parenting and self-insemination, check out this excellent resource on artificial insemination.
In conclusion, let’s encourage our children to not only avoid unkindness but to also embody compassion in action. They need to understand that standing up for what’s right is a vital part of being a good human being.