During your years of medical training, I often felt a twinge of resentment toward you. As I embraced my role as a stay-at-home mom, I struggled with feelings of isolation. My world revolved around our child while you seemed to carry on with your life, pursuing your ambitions. We moved frequently, living out of suitcases and even spending time in a cramped Staten Island basement. As the primary caregiver, I was the one soothing our baby during endless nights, feeling like the only stable element in our chaotic lives.
Whenever you had time off, I would whisk our toddler away as soon as he woke, allowing you and our roommate some much-needed sleep. Yet, beneath the surface, I often simmered with resentment. I recall one morning, strolling to our local bakery with our little one in tow, whispering to myself, “I can manage this on my own.”
Given the uncertainties of life, I’ve contemplated the truth behind that assertion. After five years of being a stay-at-home mom, I’ve pondered whether I could truly thrive independently. While I’m confident I could survive, my self-sufficient nature makes this period of staying home challenging. I know I would find a way, though there would be logistical hurdles to overcome. You are the dreamer, shaping our lives with your aspirations. Your medical career is what allows us the freedom to explore adventures, perhaps even a life in Costa Rica. I can’t envision a future without you; home is wherever we are together. The thought of venturing alone into the jungle—or even back to New Jersey, despite my sister living there—seems daunting. After all, I’ve grown accustomed to the warmth and outdoor play of Florida.
Now that you’re immersed in your residency, often working long hours, I recognize that I can handle things solo. I juggle bags and babies like a pro, manage household chores, and even turn grocery runs into fun outings. Yet, despite my capabilities, I find myself eagerly counting down the moments until you return—not because I need assistance with daily tasks, but because I long for your presence.
It’s not simply about sharing parenting duties; it’s about the joy of experiencing life together. With you, laughter is amplified, and even the tough moments feel lighter. We don’t just co-parent; we co-create memories that deepen our bond. When we witness a stunning sunset together, your words, “Look at that!” enhance the beauty of the moment.
I don’t rely on you for practical reasons; I need you to truly know me. You understand my laughter, and when I’m silent, you can read my thoughts. You embrace both my vulnerabilities and strengths, confirming my sense of self. We are intertwined, drawing out the best in each other.
So while I know I could navigate this journey alone, I don’t want to. I choose you for everything beyond mere survival.
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In summary, the essence of my message is that while I could manage independently, my life is infinitely richer and more vibrant with you by my side.